I don't give half a hump if you're innocent or not. So where does that put you?

Book ,'Objects In Space'


Spike's Bitches 44: It's about the rules having changed.  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


Fay - Jun 24, 2009 4:35:42 pm PDT #13862 of 30000
"Fuck Western ideologically-motivated gender identification!" Sulu gasped, and came.

...

has no words

Wow.

Um. 'kay.

Meanwhile, Note To Self: Do not feed the Energy Creature. (Energy Creature in this case being Bev's YouTube vid-making teenaged boy.) Arguing with teenagers on the internet is not going to be a constructive pursuit, even if the temptation to engage and smack them upside the stupid head is almost overwhelming.


Calli - Jun 24, 2009 4:36:50 pm PDT #13863 of 30000
I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul—Calvin and Hobbs

She has the COURAGE to unite with and give her full Goddess support to a powerful man (me) who dares to believe that tyranny can be eliminated from the face of this earth during our lifetime.

I think if you have to specify [i.e. (me)], you probably don't qualify.


tommyrot - Jun 24, 2009 4:38:48 pm PDT #13864 of 30000
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.

If tyranny is not eliminated from the face of this Earth, would that be grounds for divorce?


Sean K - Jun 24, 2009 4:38:49 pm PDT #13865 of 30000
You can't leave me to my own devices; my devices are Nap and Eat. -Zenkitty

Edit: Or, possibly "Looking for Doormat and Former Whore"?

More like "Current Whore Willing to Quite and Become Live-In Doormat - Supermodel Looks Only."


Jessica - Jun 24, 2009 4:55:38 pm PDT #13866 of 30000
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset

Well Sean and Dana, obviously neither of you is Goddess quality!

Please accept my apology for the length of this message. There is really no way to condense it into a nutshell, so if it's too long for you, then we are not a match. I wish you the best of luck finding the relationship you want and deserve. I am seeking a woman who LOVES it that I have put so much thought into creating a fabulous, transcendent relationship... someone who ENJOYS reading my lengthy message!

So THERE!


Dana - Jun 24, 2009 4:57:46 pm PDT #13867 of 30000
I haven't trusted science since I saw the film "Flubber."

I am seeking a woman who LOVES it that I have put so much thought into creating a fabulous, transcendent relationship

...with a doormat.


Jessica - Jun 24, 2009 4:58:24 pm PDT #13868 of 30000
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset

OMG, Hil wasn't even quoting the best parts:

I'm a deeply spiritual man. As I explain in detail below, my guidance comes directly from God (or, as my Buddhist friends would say, from my Buddha Nature). I am well aware that you might think otherwise. As you read my message, you might conclude that I have an over-inflated ego and that, rather than following "divine guidance," I should instead work on "getting over myself"—and, indeed, given the expansiveness of my message, that would be a very "normal" reaction for you to have.

This guy needs to be "reported" to the Bureau For Abuse Of "Capital Letters" And "Quotation Marks" immediately.


Jessica - Jun 24, 2009 5:00:57 pm PDT #13869 of 30000
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset

But lest we think this man has no standards at all:

She is NOT a Scientologist.


Gris - Jun 24, 2009 5:08:41 pm PDT #13870 of 30000
Hey. New board.

I also wrote very long Craigslist ads and only wanted people who liked long Craigslist ads to respond, once upon a time.

I also don't want a Scientologist.

... Other than that, I don't have much in common with that guy.

(okay, I kind of like actresses, though I don't specifically want ones who hate the media tyrants.)


Sean K - Jun 24, 2009 5:14:12 pm PDT #13871 of 30000
You can't leave me to my own devices; my devices are Nap and Eat. -Zenkitty

This is my favorite so far:

3.4. Social:

She is RELIABLE about phone calls and dates with me.

Uh huh.