Gifts:

Some of my best gifts have come from Emmett's godmother, Karen. (She who recently dealt with breast cancer.) She got me an original piece of Lynda Barry art, a box set of rare British psych and sixties pop (Nuggets II) sent to my office, and a t-shirt for McKinley High (Freaks and Geeks). But she's known me since we were both 15 and she's just got a knack for it.

The best presents I've given were usually CARE packages rather than birthday presents or xmas gifts. And I like putting those together because it feels kind of like spending time with those people when they're far away - thinking about their taste and interests.

One package I did was sort of an international tour of SF. So I found movie magazines about Bollywood (in English - very gossipy) and sugar skulls and Lucha Libre, and slippers from Chinatown and pencil kits and Badtz Maru from Japantown. It was really fun.

The last couple gift cards or gift certificates I've wound up using on somebody else. I let JZ use my hour long massage gift certificate when she was really tense, and used a gift card at Gap to get Emmett school clothes.

But EM often gets me a big gift certificate at Amoeba and that's always fun to me. Going around buying $100 worth of stuff at Amoeba is a giddymaking feeling.

Tep- I totally wish my family made lists-- my friend Maria's family does, and although they don't always get something on the list, it gives you a good idea of what people are looking for. My mom is one of those people who thinks like your imaginary person-- she actually puts value on being able to guess what someone wants, and gets mad if you don't guess. She is also bad a guessing, so it is just a mess.

Why is it any less heartfelt to give someone what they want? Does it mean I love my dad less because I ask him what he wants? I don't understand that.

Is that what you thought I meant?

Well, you said that with close friends or family they should know you well enough to be able to figure out what you want.

But, to be fair, you didn't say anything about love. I guess the ability to find a suitable gift for someone doesn't imply love, necessarily, as much as showing whether or not a person knows their loved ones well.

My family does wish lists. Given that we've got 4 birthdays spread through Dec & Jan, it seems like it'd be cruel otherwise. And we routinely berate my mom for only listing like 3 things. Not all the gifts given come from the list, but a fair number of them do.

I don't usually ask friends what they want, but I am definitely grateful if they have a wishlist on Amazon.

I guess the ability to find a suitable gift for someone doesn't imply love, necessarily, as much as showing whether or not a person knows their loved ones well.

I think it shows gift-giving ability! Of which I am not confident in mine. The closer I am to the person, the less I can think of what to give them, because all I can think of is what they already have! And none of us "need" anything!

I get really stressed out about gift-giving.

I need stuff! Like black tights, but I never get them!!!

I get really stressed out about gift-giving.

I do, too. (Uh, if my extreme defensiveness didn't already make that clear.)

Heh -- black tights aren't a present! (This is the other reason I get stressed out. So many things "aren't a present.")

I *like* giving presents. I'm awful about getting them, though.

I still haven't gotten a goat or a share of a waterbuffalo.