Heh -- black tights aren't a present! (This is the other reason I get stressed out. So many things "aren't a present.")

I *like* giving presents. I'm awful about getting them, though.

I still haven't gotten a goat or a share of a waterbuffalo.

I don't like people to watch me open a present, because it makes me feel all self-conscious. Also, I completely freexe in those gift-giving games you play at work (like Yankee Swap or whatever).

ETA-WRT black tights-- my favorite presents, were I to choose are small practical things that I hate spending money on, but need-- this is really mostly from family. From friends I tend to appreciate almost anything, because it is nice to know they thought of me. Although I do have one friend who makes gift baskets filled with homemade soap, candy, and a bottle of wine for everyone on her list. I am allergic to the soap and my friend M.'s husband is an alcoholic, so she gives me the wine and I give her the soap. But you would think other friend would learn after awhile, especially about the alcohol!

eh I'm probably not being very articulate.

Really I know that some people prefer to be asked and some don't. I was just curious about it!

If person A asks you what you want and then gives it to you, and person B did NOT ask you what you wanted and gives you a gift they thought you would like, do you feel differently about the 2 people and/or their gifts? Like person A was just fulfilling an obligation but person B can see into the depths of your soul?

Oh my thing isn't feeling like the person asking is just fulfilling an obligation. I understand why people ask! It just makes me self conscious and mildly annoyed because there are resources (like I said, asking my close friends).

But really has no bearing on the amount of gratitude I have for any gift given. And absolutely has no bearing on the love I have for the person asking or how much I think they love me!

I'm not judging anyone on their style of gifting! At all. I was just curious!

We exchange lists in my extended family for xmas gift exchange. I have no problem with that. We're pretty close but I wouldn't expect, say, my cousin's wife (if she's my designated gift-er) to know me as well as my aunt who I see and talk to all the time.

Heh -- black tights aren't a present!

ooh I wonder if Sock Dreams does gift cards? See, I'd LOVE that as a gift!

Wow, it feels like Vampire People has been out longer than a year (probably because I followed the story of its creation) and out nowhere near that long (despite getting it a day ahead of the release date thanks to Amazon). Odd, that.

Oh, and to actually answer Tep's question. I dislike the lists because it makes me feel like a personal shopper.

I don't know if it's true that it's the thought that counts, but with list giving it feels like it's the thing that counts.

With my brother, the things he's likely to get the most pleasure from are car parts. Which I know jack about. So I paypal him some money and tell him to go buy a new wazzlethrottletorque with it. He usually takes a picture, so I can say "look at the lovely wazzlethrottletorque I got you! It's even got a quizky!"

When he asks me what I'd like (he always does, he says he's a terrible gift-giver, and well...) I tell him (after I say "goat!" They don't seem to take me seriously) to send me a link for something automotive I need but know not which are legit sources and prices.

I dislike the lists because it makes me feel like a personal shopper.

See, with 7 siblings, lists were an absolute necessity in my family, so I very much like using them. There's also the problem with certain family and friends where if they don't put something on a list, I don't dare buy it for them because they'll buy it themselves ASAP (I'm thinking movies, music and books here).

GETTING the lists out of people (including myself), on the other hand, is often like pulling teeth.

David-- you are an excellent gift giver because you know people really well and are quite observant and insightful. However, some people are just not good gift givers, and they really want the list because it stresses them out to think of something,

My best presents come from my friend's brother and they are always really small but always something I really like-- Buffy or Hello Kitty-- that is also unusual. One year I got this lovely book of Hello Kitty poems from around the world, and another year a Japanese anime which he feels is a lot like Buffy, another year Hello Kitty Japanese candies. One year I got a Sam Gamgee action figure, complete with a bundle of pots! He is very frugal and I doubt his gifts ever have cost more than $10, but it is always so much fun and a little unexpected every year.

On the other hand, I just hate to see my mother stress out about my present, put a lot of energy and a lot of money into it, and almost always come up with something that is so alien to my taste that it shocks me how little she knows me. My other relatives I only see at Christmas and Thanksgiving, and they do better than she does, with less stress, it seems. But then she won't let me tell her what I want!! It is very frustrating!