I guess the ability to find a suitable gift for someone doesn't imply love, necessarily, as much as showing whether or not a person knows their loved ones well.

I think it shows gift-giving ability! Of which I am not confident in mine. The closer I am to the person, the less I can think of what to give them, because all I can think of is what they already have! And none of us "need" anything!

I get really stressed out about gift-giving.

I need stuff! Like black tights, but I never get them!!!

I get really stressed out about gift-giving.

I do, too. (Uh, if my extreme defensiveness didn't already make that clear.)

Heh -- black tights aren't a present! (This is the other reason I get stressed out. So many things "aren't a present.")

I *like* giving presents. I'm awful about getting them, though.

I still haven't gotten a goat or a share of a waterbuffalo.

I don't like people to watch me open a present, because it makes me feel all self-conscious. Also, I completely freexe in those gift-giving games you play at work (like Yankee Swap or whatever).

ETA-WRT black tights-- my favorite presents, were I to choose are small practical things that I hate spending money on, but need-- this is really mostly from family. From friends I tend to appreciate almost anything, because it is nice to know they thought of me. Although I do have one friend who makes gift baskets filled with homemade soap, candy, and a bottle of wine for everyone on her list. I am allergic to the soap and my friend M.'s husband is an alcoholic, so she gives me the wine and I give her the soap. But you would think other friend would learn after awhile, especially about the alcohol!

eh I'm probably not being very articulate.

Really I know that some people prefer to be asked and some don't. I was just curious about it!

If person A asks you what you want and then gives it to you, and person B did NOT ask you what you wanted and gives you a gift they thought you would like, do you feel differently about the 2 people and/or their gifts? Like person A was just fulfilling an obligation but person B can see into the depths of your soul?

Oh my thing isn't feeling like the person asking is just fulfilling an obligation. I understand why people ask! It just makes me self conscious and mildly annoyed because there are resources (like I said, asking my close friends).

But really has no bearing on the amount of gratitude I have for any gift given. And absolutely has no bearing on the love I have for the person asking or how much I think they love me!

I'm not judging anyone on their style of gifting! At all. I was just curious!

We exchange lists in my extended family for xmas gift exchange. I have no problem with that. We're pretty close but I wouldn't expect, say, my cousin's wife (if she's my designated gift-er) to know me as well as my aunt who I see and talk to all the time.

Heh -- black tights aren't a present!

ooh I wonder if Sock Dreams does gift cards? See, I'd LOVE that as a gift!

Wow, it feels like Vampire People has been out longer than a year (probably because I followed the story of its creation) and out nowhere near that long (despite getting it a day ahead of the release date thanks to Amazon). Odd, that.

Oh, and to actually answer Tep's question. I dislike the lists because it makes me feel like a personal shopper.

I don't know if it's true that it's the thought that counts, but with list giving it feels like it's the thing that counts.