Dude, I've explained this once. I didn't even want to admit that I had a teeny bit of interest in Teh Kink, so I said I was vanilla. I was all repressed and shit.

So I lied.

I know this! I doubt it not! I just wonder who ELSE might have pants on fire...

I just skipped ahead about 450 posts and landed here:

Fred Pete - For the first time in three weeks, I'm caught up on the board. And Bitches is discussing asshooks.

There's a lesson there. I'm not sure what it is.

word.

I have not lied about my kinks to my extremely inquisitive mother but I have reduced them considerably in scope. I couldn't hide shit from her if I tried. You all have heard my outing story, I think- where she asked if I was bi and then went on to name the girl I was in love with.

There's a lesson there. I'm not sure what it is.

Skipping posts is to traveling in hyperspace what asshooks are to strong gravity wells.

I'm pretty sure I know what asshooks are but congratulations Bitches for being the first people to make me aware of their existence.

Simple in concept, terrifying in application.

I just wonder who ELSE might have pants on fire...

My pants may be a little heated, but we'll never know until my bedroom gets a little heated.

Running out of storage space in the noggin? Afraid you'll need to start forgetting obscure animal facts in order to learn more stuff?

Wow, that'd be a crappy trade.

I am sooo glad I went back and read the whitefont. Sometimes my imagination is more evil than reality.

Because nobody brought the asshooks?

You've never been to a Diablo Sound meeting.

And now all I can hear is Richard Nixon saying "Ass-sticks. Ass-sticks. ASS. ASS. Sticks."

I blame you.