That piece I wrote on Technorati? Dan's ex called him at work this working, crying in Starbuck's about how mean-spirited it was, and how she couldn't believe I posted links to it, where people who knew her would see it.
WOMAN. This piece was respectful to you. It wasn't ABOUT yo; it was about me, and how the garage was a symbol of how I was coming to terms with being a wife to a husband who had a previous marriage, and how I wasn't quite sure of what my role in that was. [link]
First off, why didn't she call ME, and not Dan? Second of all, guys, a little perspective -- was it mean-spirited? Do you think it was inappropriate? I don't think so, but maybe I'm a little to close to things.
I called her, and it went to voice mail, and apologized if I hurt her feelings, but explained basically what I wrote above, and asked her to call me to have a conversation about it.
But I'm proud of the essay, and I'm just kinda of pissed that my little writing triumph has suddenly turned *again* into AlL ABOUT HER.
Princess, not everything is about you. This was about ME.
And honestly -- a messy garage full of stuff? This is hardly anything to be ashamed of. Most of the people in America who HAVE garages have them filled with random crap.
Grr.
She is most definitely making something that is not about her in any but the most general way (i.e.--that she exists, not about her personally) and making it About Her.
If my ex's new GF wrote something similar, I would probably haz a sad, but then realize that it's Not About Me and move on.
I think that's a great essay, Erin. And if she didn't want her crap discussed she should have dealt with it while the place was still her home. Abandoned crap is fair game.
Erin, what you wrote was not mean-spirited or inappropriate. She's being a drama queen.
Personally, I can see why it might make her sad. After all, it's literal baggage from a failed marriage and she was obviously not up to dealing with it herself. I currently have a house/garage full of baggage. And I'm not looking forward to dealing with it. But I don't think your piece was mean spirited at all. It was very much about you and your perspective.
I think her feelings are not that surprising, but she needs to keep them to herself.
smonster, tough but necessary; good on you for getting through it.
Erin, ffs, it's a good essay and Madam Drama Queen needs a couple Xanax with a perspective chaser.
I think her feelings are not that surprising, but she needs to keep them to herself.
I agree with this. I can see how reading a description of the literal detritus of her marriage would sting, but it wasn't a mean-spirited essay, it clearly wasn't about *her,* and she needs to just chill.
However, I think expecting any other response from her, given her actions in the past, is an exercise in futility.
Oh, and I didn't say the most important part -- it's a good essay, and I really enjoyed it, as the partner of a divorced dude (who does not have literal detritus from his ex, but wow, does he have a lot of emotional baggage, and yes, we are hitting the point where I've said "Marriage: it would kick ass," and he's said...things [NOT about me] that are very, very roadblocky indeed).
Erin, I read the essay and I didn't think it was mean spirited. You didn't say anything about her, personally, and ended on a positive note.
It could be she's offended that her leaving tons of junk for someone else to deal with can make her look bad, but actually - 99.99% of the people who read that won't know her or care.
Yes, she is a drama llama. I don't think that the essay was mean spirited but she doesn't seem to have it in her to do anything other than take it in the wrongest way.
