I now pronounce it syphi, like syphilis. Fuck you marketing dept, fuck you.

Sure, but then you'll come down with syphi.

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I'm always impressed by self-discipline -- probably because I have almost none. And you can certainly be chaste without being a prude or utterly clueless.

I'm impressed by that the same way I'm impressed with people who starve themselves to be thin. That takes a lot more willpower than I have, but I don't want it. I don't think denying yourself (healthy safe) sex is any more good for you than denying yourself food.

It's true that chastity doesn't necessarily make one prudish or clueless, but being chaste totally precludes knowing whether you're compatible with your chosen partner. Honestly, I think the ideal of female chastity, with no possibility of divorce, exists to make sure that no man ever gets insulted or rejected by a woman. If she doesn't know any better and she can't leave, he can do whatever he wants, and never be concerned that he has the bedmanner of a rutting warthog.

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Some people really consider a mutual end 'o chastity an important part of their bond. I can see that. Doesn't float MY boat, but I can see it. And of course you could still end up with wildly disparate sex drives, but when your sexuality is something you develop mutually from scratch you're playing on the same field.

That's mutual chastity of course. When its just for the girls I get skeeved with all that is included and implied.

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I'm impressed by that the same way I'm impressed with people who starve themselves to be thin. That takes a lot more willpower than I have, but I don't want it. I don't think denying yourself (healthy safe) sex is any more good for you than denying yourself food.

Aaaand, coincidentally enough, when C met the tool it was not long after she was released from in-patient rehab for life-threatening anorexia.

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There was a couple I know that got married when she was 20, they were even living together, but not having sex. I do not know what has happened to them , but at the time I felt they were so obsessed with the actual wedding night, that they really couldn't see the marriage. -- They had one goal, and I am not so sure they looked beyond it.

I don't really think you want to get married just so you can have sex.

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Aaaand, coincidentally enough, when C met the tool it was not long after she was released from in-patient rehab for life-threatening anorexia.

And C is for "control issues"?

Chastity can be dangerous. I know two women who carried that guiltifying hard enough that even once sex was on the Nice list they really didn't enjoy it. I can think of two others that once their marriages ended went more than a little wild with the "I can have sex with someone else!" I can think at least three that when their marriages ended basically just turned off the tap and never had sex again. I think there are real risks in tying up your sexual identity entirely with another person. And I totally think it made more sense when people didn't have birth control and got married at 15.

OTOH, I know couples who waited for each other and have had happy great sex lives. Any curiosity they have about other people is pretty minimal. They're all good.

Personally, I'd go nuts with "what IFs" if I was only with one person in my life, but I'm like that with everything. I always want to see what's around that bend. And its a darn good thing I didn't wait because I haven't even come close to finding the right person and nobody needs a 39 year old virgin super porny pants.

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I know a couple that lives together, but have separate bedrooms. He strikes me as gay or asexual, so I wouldn't be surprised if they weren't having sex.

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Nah, that just forces the back to arch. Doesn't hold the head back.

This is true, you can also use the full head harness ball gags if you want to keep the head pulled back.

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I know a couple that lives together, but have separate bedrooms.

I wouldn't mind a separate bedroom some nights. glares at large, very strong dude with masses of hair currently doing his best impression of a starfish in our mutual bed. a snoring starfish.

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I gather you weren't dating her for her intellectual prowess?

Actually, she was on the smart side of things. Also a bit butch. The more I thought about it, the more I think she was very very VERY closeted, in denial, and afraid of catching the gay. She is now married, still living in PA, and has some kids, and judging by her facebook pictures, looks like she drinks, ALOT.

I'm going to a wedding tomorrow for someone who is 29, been dating her fiance for four years, and...is a virgin

Now is that only penetration virgin, or is that virgin of ANY/ALL sexual contact?

Dude, you may be worse at attracting appropriate mates than I am.

Yes, I have a history of being attracted to the person in the room who is completely unattainable for one reason or another. For awhile it was lesbian. Then there was a stretch of married. And then the women I did manage to ask out were crazy in whole forms of ways, none of which I could call the padded room people for. Those are the best two examples.

Speaking of which. Um. I might have a live one people. OK Cupid! We just had a 2.5 hour phone call. She out geeks me in many ways. Is a gamer. As in, has been going to GenCon for MANY years. We are going to meet up on Sunday to play some Set. The biggest drawback I can see, she loves Loves LOVES dancing. Me? Not really a dancer. So, hopefully that isn't a deal breaker on her list. But dude, she TOTALLY out geeks me, and ya know, that is HOT! So wish me luck, hopefully there is chemistry!

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