I mean, they are smart and cute as hell, but the women have to spell out "FUCK ME," for these brainiacs to know that they like them.

And as far as S goes.... I wound up with her because she persued me. My first reaction was actually that I wasn't interested, because something seemed not right with her. A reaction I should have stuck with. The things setting off alarm bells back then turned out to be what helped drive us apart. Really there's a lot of details about that that only a small handful of people know about, and I won't go into here.

So find someone with less bells.

And I feel like my idiotic mistake cost me the time period where I had the best chance of finding somebody.

Look, as far as I am concerned best chance, worst chance, does not equal no chance.

As I said, find someone with less bells.

Several years ago I met someone online that I had some reservations about (Vastly less balls than you have mentioned with S), not the least of which was that we lived 1,500 miles apart, and why would she be flirting with me anyway? (A sure sign that something was wrong with her.) I took the advice of another couple of female confidants I had garnered in the group, one of whom finally convinced me that I would be better off flirting back. At the very least I would learn to flirt a bit better.

A couple years after that I flew down to visit her. Three months later I bought a minivan and drove to Arizona to move her to Minnesota.

On July 3rd, Windsparrow and I will have been living together 4 years.

Not that we are the perfect couple, but we do okay. After all this time, the only questions about bells are from friends and family asking when they will hear some.

Yeah, the women who don't set off alarm bells are usually busy shacking up with someone else.

Okay, really stepping away from the self pity now.

well, maybe you are more comfortable with them because there is less pressure. Signed, Married Guys Love Me(But Not Like That) also, lately I get chatted up by blind guys. Which is flattering, but also kind of a punchline, you know? And they're married, anyway.

{{{{{Sean}}}}} I'm sorry you are feeling the weight of loneliness. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to feel valued, appreciated and folded into loving arms.

Aw, Sean. I'd say something comforting and/or encouraging, but I'm the girl version of you. Except I suspect I'm older than you, and have wasted more time with crazy people! I don't recommend the pretending-to-be-sexless route. I've been doing that since my last relationship with a crazy person ended in 2004. It's safe, but lonesome.

Yeah, I can relate. But the self-pity thing is s dead-end, as I've found out from my own experience.

Maybe the cute girl is chatting up the sound board op because she's nervous about talking directly to you.

I'm just saying.

{{{{{Sean}}}}} I'm sorry you are feeling the weight of loneliness. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to feel valued, appreciated and folded into loving arms.

Exactly. Also, I am convinced there are plenty of potential loved ones that deserve to have you in their life.

the self-pity thing is a dead-end

Damn, and I've gotten so good at it!