Shir, that's tough. If she's not following the advice you are giving her, then shoot that at her point blank, "Look, I'd love to help you, but you always ask for my advice, and never follow it. Please stop needlessly pestering me.". Also, in an effort to push her out of the nest and hope she takes flight on her own, maybe say to her (and I hope this doesn't come off as insensitive or disrespectful), but say to her "look, my mind is not in a state to help people right now. I had a death in the family, and I really need to have some quiet, alone, 'me' time for awhile."
ION. Today I cooked the best omelet I've made in YEARS! It was damn near perfect, except for a bit too much cheese that oozed out and made the last little bit stick to the pan, resulting in a ripped off corner. But it tasted GREAT! Not burnt at all, just enough cheese for taste, and the toast and bacon timed out well, so all was done about the same time. Renewed my faith in my cooking abilities!
Then, I went to Half Price Books to play some backgammon with my backgammon buddy. While there, saw a couple playing card game version of Settlers of Catan. (see gaming thread). Then sold a stack of my old magazines to HPB for a whole $1.50 (hey, better than throwing them out, right), and saw a stack of packaged old comic books for $5 with at least (2) Green Lanterns in it, so I got that. All was swimmingly wonderful, until some asshat decides to ask me if my 'condition' is from an accident or from birth... and then proceeds to ask how it effects my school and my driving, and how wonderful it is that I am done with school and have a job, because that will make paying for DEATH/funeral much easier on my family!!! I shit you not! Then went on for like FIVE MINUTES on how great it is I will have money for my funeral. For the love of god, I'm only 37! WTF. If he didn't have such a cute Indian accent, I might have popped him one. Sometimes I really hate being a pacifist.
omnis is wise.
That omelette sounds marvelous.
IOpeanutbutterN, is it just how hungry I am right now, or does Skippy Natural taste as good as JIF used to taste?
Shir, here is how I might set limits. --say something , at the beginning of the conversation that you have only 10 or 15 minuets to talk today. At the end of the conversation you can say -- feel free to email me if you have more to say, but I probably won't get back to you for at least 24 hours. Obviously change to times to suit what you really can do. And you might actually have to hang up on her. but nicely , politely and kindly. ok, but you know me, I gotta get work done , so I'll talk to you another time -- bye click.
And stick to it. if you say you can't respond to her email for 24 hours than don't. The expectation should be that if you say x you mean x.
If you have an hour -- giver her an hour.
If you find that all you ever are willing to give her is 15 minutes -- that might tell you something too.
That looks good, Hil. No wonder you wanted to take a picture
Shir you've gotten a lot of good advice above. I can only add that there have been a couple times when I had to decide if a person was doing more harm than good in my life and if the answer was yes I stopped seeing them. I hope we're both better off in the long run.
WS -- now that I have only natural peanut butter in the house, those that have sugar in them taste wrong. since when should peanuts taste sweet?
Omnis- did you ask him if he had his funeral money set aside, because sometimes things happen unexpectedly? Much sooner?
I might have an abrupt , abbreviated , new england way of speaking, but I know i could never be that rude.
Omnis- did you ask him if he had his funeral money set aside, because sometimes things happen unexpectedly? Much sooner?
beth_b, where were you when I needed you! That might have worked better than not making eye contact. I was politely trying to brush him off. Clearly it didn't work. Don't apologize for your NE ways. Sometimes I'm just too damned polite. And they wonder why folks with disabilities can be irritable. You crazy people push us to it!!! It just floors me how some people find it perfectly acceptable to just come up to a perfect stranger and start asking pointed questions like that. It's none of your business! It's one thing if I was doing some kind of inspirational speech or something. I dunno. Just seems a bit rude.
A bit rude? Way over the line. Seriously, that was a very personal question. I mean, I am sure it comes up in things like awkward doorway moments ( I can hear it now -- don't worry about me ,I've been practicing tricky maneuvers on these thing since I got my first pair), but in general -- the average joe/jane on the street needs to know nothing.
Oy omnis-- I might have hauled off and clocked him one. But then again, I'm not so much with the pacifist 'tude.
Ugh, omnis. I feel your pain. You should have at least accidentally tripped him with your crutch.
Seriously, omnis- that guy was an ass.
