How about a laugh? Old Jews Telling Jokes

I just read the stupidest article ever..

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It is claiming that condiments make you fat. Because you tounge doesn't get board. Do you know why I caned 50 lbs in college? because I was looking for food that had flavor. Turns out that for me the first 'trick' is only eating food that taste really good. I ge that in a particular instantce -- adding a condiment might make you eat more of an item -- but I find over all , if my mouth is happy, I don't go looking for more food, unless I am actually hungry.

You guys, I'm laughing my ass off here. My dad just got back from visiting my brother, who apparently got Dad hooked on smoothies. Dad went out and bought a blender, and then called me wanting smoothie recipes.

I said, "I don't know -- I just throw frozen fruit and milk in a blender at a 1:1 ratio and then blend. If it's too thick, I add more milk and re-blend; if it's too liquidy, I add more frozen fruit and re-blend."

Dad: "I don't like milk. Can I use juice?"

Me: "Sure."

Dad: "How much?"

Me: "Uh, same as milk -- a 1:1 ratio."

Dad: "But I don't like milk."

Me: "..."

Me: "Just use a 1:1 ratio of frozen fruit and juice and you'll be fine."

Dad: "But I think I need recipes."

Me: "Any frozen fruit you like. Any juice you like. Just experiment!"

Dad: "Can't you look up recipes on the internet?"

Me: "..."

Me: "Okay. I'll look up some recipes for you and give them to you when I see you."

Dad: "Great! It's just a little confusing."

It reminded me of the long conversation we had here about smoothies, and P-C not wanting to learn how to use a blender while stoned on Vicodin. And now I'm wondering if P-C has since learned how to use a blender. (And if so, if he can send my dad some fucking smoothie recipes.)

Or maybe your dad needs some vicodin. To get to the right state of zen for the blender.

Or maybe your dad needs some vicodin. To get to the right state of zen for the blender.

He actually takes percoset for diabetic neuropathic pain. So I expected him to have the blender zen. Alas, no.

here is one for your dad

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I think some people just can't improvise in the kitchen.

It reminded me of the long conversation we had here about smoothies, and P-C not wanting to learn how to use a blender while stoned on Vicodin. And now I'm wondering if P-C has since learned how to use a blender. (And if so, if he can send my dad some fucking smoothie recipes.)

Haaaa ha ha. It does sound EXACTLY like me. And no, I still have not learned how to use a blender. My mom sent me one that none of us can figure out how to make work.

I just tried making vegan challah. It almost worked. It's good, but the egg substitute was mashed banana, and there's a really faint banana flavor that's a bit odd. It tastes good, but it doesn't quite taste like I think challah should.

I don't think I've ever made a smoothie. The only blender I have is an immersion blender with blades so blunt that I don't think they'd cut through frozen fruit.

You can let the fruit defrost most of the way.