This is how it works in our house. The rule is if you cook you don't do dishes, and 90% of the time that means I cook and DH does the dishes.

Similar in our house. While I was working, and pre-Ryan, Wallybee would cook on weekdays and I'd cook on weekends. Whoever didn't cook would clean up.

Now, her parents cook and I run the dishes. (When we're all healthy.) It's a decent arrangement.

Show of hands -- who else wants a billytea's-inlaws of their very own?

t raises hand

Show of hands -- who else wants a billytea's-inlaws of their very own?

Look, you really do. And they come with their own interepreter! Oh, wait, I'm keeping her. Come to think of it, I'm keeping them too. Get your own live-in-laws!

I clean as I cook. I cannot work in a messy kitchen and I hate being faced with a mountain of pots, pans, and dishes at the end of a meal. Even if someone else is cleaning, the idea of it makes me crazy. So generally, if I'm cooking, there's very little beyond the actual serving and eating dishes and utensils that need to be cleaned afterward.

hand raised My parents and in-laws get waited on when they visit. I need to visit them more often.

This whole "helpless male" bullshit annoys the hell out of me.

Back when my wife would sometimes leave or a day or two for church stuff. It would drive me nuts when my MIL worried about me being able to take care of the kids and make dinner and stuff, even though I did that almost every day.

I clean as I cook. I cannot work in a messy kitchen and I hate being faced with a mountain of pots, pans, and dishes at the end of a meal.

I like to clean as I cook too, but I'm rarely able to achieve enough efficiency to avoid stuff to clean at the end.

My mother comes over and starts cleaning things up that I didn't even notice. I have decided it is too much trouble to stop her.

When TCG's stepmom and dad come over for dinner, she starts to clean up after we eat. Try to discourage this because I think she thinks I should get up and do the same. Usually I have done the meal planning, shopping and cooking, and TCG is going to do the clean up.

I should say that it isn't a sharp divide between what we do. Often TCG will make a salad or do some of the choping, and I'll put away leftovers and anything that needs to go back in the fridge while he is doing dishes.

DH admits to me very sheepishly that he LOVES it when he comes home and dinner is ready--but that really only happens about 20-30% of the time.

That is also the percentage of breast cancers that overexpress HER2!!

...Sorry, I've been researching for my cancer pharmacology workshop.

Okay, hivemind, give me some advice.

I have an old friend - she was in fact the MoH at my wedding. We are mostly in touch via FB now because she lives in OK but just moved this weekend to DC. I would love to see her and her kids. (eta: and I'll be in DC for three weeks this summer while Joe goes to a course.) But, about five years ago, her husband, who I also considered a friend, was in Colorado when I lived there, for some Army stuff and while he was there, he made several statements about how he had feelings for me. I said thanks, but no thanks, and we left it at that. Until he sent me this email about how I shouldn't have been offended because he *loved* me. And Joe read the email and got sort of upset.

We, Joe and the kids and I, will be in DC this summer and my friend, having read about it on FB, said she wants us to get together. I really like her a lot but I do not want to re-hash this crap with anyone - either her husband or Joe. I really don't think Joe would care anymore but I still would rather not have to rehash it, you know?

So, I'm thinking I will just tell her that only Joe will be in DC for the course and avoid FB for those three weeks. That's the best option, right?