I am a large, semi-muscular man. I can take it. Don't hide behind Mal 'cause you know he'll shoot it down for you. Tell me.

Wash ,'War Stories'


Spike's Bitches 44: It's about the rules having changed.  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


Nora Deirdre - Jun 05, 2009 4:26:13 am PDT #11938 of 30000
I’m responsible for my own happiness? I can’t even be responsible for my own breakfast! (Bojack Horseman)

We trade off on the cooking and often we cook together. If neither one of us feels like cooking, we'll get takeout or eat cereal.

I would not do well in a relationship that was based on me working full time and being the primary cooking entity.

You are a fucking adult. Either you learn to fend for yourself or you find a way to get what you want by yourself.

So much this. My husband may play videogames and wear weird Woot T-shirts every day, but he is one of the most adult-minded people I know. (I know this isn't a contradiction here, but it can be in other situations, especially family ones.) Also refreshingly free of gender role bullshit.


Hil R. - Jun 05, 2009 4:28:07 am PDT #11939 of 30000
Sometimes I think I might just move up to Vermont, open a bookstore or a vegan restaurant. Adam Schlesinger, z''l

I would actually have no problem with doing most of the cooking, as long as I was not the person doing most of the cleaning. I like cooking, and I'm pretty good at it. I hate cleaning, and I'm horrible at it.


sj - Jun 05, 2009 4:30:56 am PDT #11940 of 30000
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."

Doing the majority of the cooking and not having to clean up the mess is definitely a good deal imho.


Seska (the Watcher-in-Training) - Jun 05, 2009 4:31:12 am PDT #11941 of 30000
"We're all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?"

I like cooking, and I'm pretty good at it. I hate cleaning, and I'm horrible at it.

That was the situation when I first met my partner - she'd cook and I'd clean. I still do a more cleaning than she does (although I get outside help with it these days), so we feel like we split the work pretty well.


Nora Deirdre - Jun 05, 2009 4:34:11 am PDT #11942 of 30000
I’m responsible for my own happiness? I can’t even be responsible for my own breakfast! (Bojack Horseman)

We are far too lazy for deals or assignments, we've actually been lucky that we tend to trade off fairly evenly. Sometimes one cooks and the other cleans, sometimes one cooks and cleans, sometimes we both cook and someone cleans, sometimes we both cook and both clean.

Sometimes we let the dishes sit there for a while. It's all good.

It just depends on our energy levels.


Aims - Jun 05, 2009 4:43:32 am PDT #11943 of 30000
Shit's all sorts of different now.

Joe and I make deals. Mostly because something needs to be done and one of us (to be honest, usually me) doesn't want to do it. So we barter. Which can sometimes be fun.

It's interesting right now because with Joe in school, I'm taking over a lot of "his" chores and stuff that he did while I was in school. Laundry, cooking, Em. And it's kind of nice. I like doing the house stuff, I just never had the time or energy to do it. But quite often, we have catch as catch can night or take out.


Jessica - Jun 05, 2009 4:44:17 am PDT #11944 of 30000
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset

I would actually have no problem with doing most of the cooking, as long as I was not the person doing most of the cleaning. I like cooking, and I'm pretty good at it. I hate cleaning, and I'm horrible at it.

This is how it works in our house. The rule is if you cook you don't do dishes, and 90% of the time that means I cook and DH does the dishes.


billytea - Jun 05, 2009 4:46:37 am PDT #11945 of 30000
You were a wrong baby who grew up wrong. The wrong kind of wrong. It's better you hear it from a friend.

Awwww. Congrats on the graduate school! We have an actuary friend who went back and got his MSF--he seemed to enjoy the program.

I rather like the look of it. I mean, given world enough and time, I'd be doing biology or history or Chinese Studies, but this works well enough.


amych - Jun 05, 2009 4:51:38 am PDT #11946 of 30000
Now let us crush something soft and watch it fountain blood. That is a girlish thing to want to do, yes?

The rule is if you cook you don't do dishes

I seriously think this was the main reason I learned to cook. (The secondary reason was that I was a really picky eater as a kid, and I could only know for sure what was in stuff that I made. Not exactly passion and vocation as motivations go, but it worked out pretty well.)


Laura - Jun 05, 2009 5:05:49 am PDT #11947 of 30000
Our wings are not tired.

I think everyone would appreciate coming home to a meal already prepared and waiting, but that doesn't mean it's some sort of entitlement for omnivorous husbands :)

I do most of the cooking, but with 4 people with varied schedules we end up cooking for ourselves most of the time. The boys both cook. Even after more than 20 years, every single time DH comes home and finds that I have made a family dinner he is hugely appreciative. He acts like it is the nicest thing that has ever happened to him. I don't think his mom cooked much.

None of us like to clean up and we all suck at it. I haven't yet found a solution to this problem.