Best of luck dealing with family expectations, Kristin. I can relate. We're having an exceptionally small ceremony until we can figure out what we want in terms of something that includes others - whether a party, or a 'blessing', or what - which we might not get round to for a good while yet. Our family situation is complicated, but we're now finally managing to persuade them that they won't be missing out. I agree with the idea of having a short engagement - always a good idea!
Word-order edit.
It involves telling people after you elope, as always.
Heh, yep.
We did get officially engaged and then just (very firmly) never discussed when or where the wedding would be, it faded from the limelight. It was only about 7 months between the engagement and the elopement as well. We'd have done it much sooner if I was able to get away from work in May.
We were lucky that we didn't have too much pushiness from family and friends, and we were able to effectively prepare everyone for what was happening without actually communicate the plans. This is not always the case, I know.
I found the mansicle disturbing.
sj, I love that photo of Maia and Zachary.
Sorry to hear that the in-laws are beginning to act like out-laws, Kristin.
I must be a complete outlier in having loved our big-ass wedding (especially the part where I started crying and then Hec started crying and then
everyone
started crying. Runny noses everywhere! That was awesome.).
If you're not me, though (and clearly you are not, else both ND and Hec are in for a big surprise one of these days), then I endorse the elope-right-away, let-them-fuss-over-the-party-later-on plan. If you're very lucky, you could end up being like my brother and brother-in-law, whose big party ended up getting delayed by nearly half a decade, at which point all the families were just happy that anything was happening at all.
Just don't stint on the cake. Cake is key.
Also, I strongly endorse the corset dress option (not least because you'll have to come up to SF at least a couple of times for fittings).
JZ - I loved my big wedding, too. It was awesome and fun and a total blast. And plannig it from 2500 miles away made for very little family input. Woohoo!!
t I insert my standard disclaimer that while elopement was awesome for me, I know many people who have loved the celebration and I am not bagging on it.
No outliers when it comes to weddings! Do what makes you happy!
big weddings are for some, but it is up to the couple. I get the whole family/ village celebration. But it can be truly crazy making as well. I think adults get to make that decision
And I'm the inlier! I tried to elope, but ended up with a wedding planned with the speed of gazelles. Crazy, crack-addled gazelles with cake. But then, my dad walked me down the aisle and that's something I'm so glad I had.
And it was wonderful. It would have been wonderful to elope, too, and it probably would have been wonderful if we'd elaborately and carefully planned a wedding for years. It didn't matter, because at the end of the day I get to spend the rest of my life with the person I adore more than any other in the world.
And so will you.
Steve Martin's character's daydream of the backyard barbecue wedding is more my speed than how the main event actually played out in Father of the Bride.
