I'd be ded from the cute if one of my own kiddos hadn't already killed me today...literally and figuratively.

It was GORGEOUS outside today, and surprisingly I had to convince the kids to go out. Craziness. Of course, once they were out, they had a fabulous time. Taking them out is always a little nerve-wracking, though, especially since the crawl-under-the-fence-that-separates-the-playground -from-the-major-highway incident. Well, they were pretty good today...until the youngest's mom came. I told her and her sister to get ready to go...mommy was here. Well E went running out of the playground area and into the parking lot...then ran right past her mom. It was a little bizarre. So, we're both chasing her and yelling for her to stop running. Eventually, she stops and comes back over to the grass. I grabbed her and pulled her really close to me and held her so she couldn't escape. And we had a little chat, with her mom standing right there. A lot of times if the parent has arrived, I'll remind the child of the rule they just broke...and that they can't just start breaking rules when mom or dad comes. But, she got the full lecture. It went something like this.

Me: You just really scared me and mommy. Do you know why?
E: Because I ran into the parking lot.
Me: Yes. And what is our rule about that?
E: No running in the parking lot.
Me: Did you forget the rule or break it on purpose?
E: I broke it on purpose.
Me: Why did you do that?
E: Because I was naughty.
Me: E, this is an extra important rule because it's not safe for you to run in the parking lot. You could fall and get hurt on the pavement, or a car could not see you, and you could get very hurt. And that would be very scary for me and mommy.
E: And I could be dead.
Me: Well, yes. That would be the very extreme possibility, but you're right, it is a possibility. That would make Miss Val very sad.
Me: And you would cry and cry and miss me so much.
At this point I pulled her really close and hugged her tight.
Me: Yes. I would miss you so much. Everyone would miss you so much. So, what decision are you going to make next time?
E: I'm not going to run in the parking lot, and I'm going to listen to Miss Val.
Me: Ok. That sounds like a good decision. Now, why don't you hold mommy's hand and go in and get your stuff.

I miss everyone! I've been too busy to even lurk. It sucks.

Sniff. Raq is me.

Ded from the cutiehead Buffista sprog. The teen sprog are pretty cute too. They get the subtle mockery. They can be bribed.

We are watching some really bad old teen movie now. The Glass House. Looks promising for serious mockery.

I think Miss Val is an awesome teacher. But sorry about the heart attack!

We are watching some really bad old teen movie now. The Glass House. Looks promising for serious mockery.

Oh yes. Very mockable. What's sad is they have a pretty good cast. For me, I'll watch it if nothing else is on, 'cuz Leelee Sobieski.

Well, that was a lost afternoon. I was attacked horrible stomach pains about four hours ago, and was too sick to work or read or *gasp* read the board. There was a lot of time in the bathroom. I'm better now. I hope that was the end of it, but I may just have beaten in temporarily into submission with the pharmacy I swallowed. WTF? I haven't had anything like that for years. I don't know if it's a bug or the revenge of the creme brulee.

Creme brulee would never be so cruel!

Creme brulee would never be so cruel!

Exactly. It's only evil in the tasty way.

grumble grumble

Three lanky kids came to the box office and the biggest one asked for three adult tickets and one child.

I said, "only one of you is under thirteen years of age?"

She said, "yes!"

I said, "are you sure you don't mean three kids and one adult?"

"Yes!"

So I rang up the tickets but a few minutes later when I saw an adult approaching the box office with some tickets I knew exactly what she wanted.

"You gave us the wrong tickets."

"I thought they looked awfully short for thirteen-year-olds but she said three adults and one child."

very snippy now, "they're kids ."

"I asked if she was sure she didn't mean three kids and one adult..."

" they're kids ."

(laughing) "Maybe they're still too young to order their own tickets."

"No. YOU misunderstood them."

(no longer laughing) "That must be it."

bitch

THE UNIVERSE DOES NOT THINK YOUR KIDS ARE SPECIAL, LADY. SEE A WENER HERZOG MOVIE SOME TIME. ALSO TEACH THEM TO DETECT THEIR OWN INCOMPETENCE.

SEE A WENER HERZOG MOVIE SOME TIME.

AHAHAHAHAHA!!