train bunch-up

That saved their bacon, I think. If they hadn't been able to catch up there, they would have been so far behind even without the penalty, they would have been toast.

BOO!

sonofabitch.

Fuck.

I really wish they hadn't showed the crying talking head. And stupid Mike's stupid smug face. He's going to win this thing, isn't he? Argh.

Also, I would still like to vote for Kevin Gillespie for fan favorite.

BOO with added HISS.

So disappointing. And why didn't the vote stand for fuck's sake?

Knew it was coming from the sad face edit but damn, fuck, piss, shit. Ick.

JLo looks insane. Just like a sparkly, latina Judy Jetson. I didn’t even pay attention to Steven Tyler’s choice of blouse as I was blinded by her disco ball shirt and spackled on make up. (Why are Randy’s teeth orange?) Who did JLo’s make up? She looks like a clown. And the crack monkeys forgot to put the vaseline on the lens because she looks substantially less divine. And the kids. Does Thia have a glitter heart pasted on her chest? Oh the wardrobe and make up department is having a bad night tonight.

Top 10 night! How did we get here this fast? Oh, Ryan. Please stop rocking the almost faux hawk. You’re too pretty for all that.

Casey Abrams/Heard It Through the Grapevine/Marvin Gaye – You need to not scream this week, is what all these fine people are trying to tell you, sweetie. Hmmm. This kid can sing and he has soul, but not Marvin soul. He has Dr. John soul. He’s not a Motown style crooner. Therefore, the song never sat well on him. It’s not that he sang poorly, it’s just . . . it wasn’t the right song choice. He tried to Casey-ify it but it didn’t work for me and then the judges just wasted time and lied about how original he is and eh. Not the best way to start the show. And the pretty, pretty princess next? Gee, that’s great.

Thia Megia/Heatwave/Martha Reeves and the Vandellas – She’s 16 now. And still as boring as ever. Her voice is fine. But she’s so plastic. It’s like watching some horrible kiddie pageant. And then she forgot the words. Twice. And JLo thinks this is letting loose? This was taking a chance? Moving around like you have a stick up your butt? Get off my TV fool. You’re wasting my time.

Jacob Lusk/You’re All I Need to Get By/Marvin Gaye and Tammy Terrel – OK, who’s going to sing the Marvin Gaye part? Why is it so slow? But on the real, this is the best he’s ever sung on the show. In fact, he is kind of shutting it down. Y’all, I’m loving Jacob Lusk. He put his foot in that sang. Where did the restraint come from? Wow. That was a great, great performance. And Ryan and the hugging? So cute. He’s really, really good at this.

Lauren Alaina/You Keep Me Hanging On/Diana Ross – This is a hard song to sing. And is she doing the shake off the haters speech? Ewww. You earned the hateration, Peaches. Jump in it. It’s a good little countrified version of the song. Her voice, too, sounds better than it has in weeks. She’s bringing personality and attitude. Sadly, she decided to smile through a song about heart ache and pain, but whatever. It was good. I’m kind of over this girl. She has a good voice. She can still be a country star, but she won’t be the Idol.

Adding to the chorus of "FUCK!" here. Guess I'm rooting for Richard, though he's been almost as obnoxious as Mike I. this season (I remember liking him in his original appearance). Except he always seems to choke when he really needs to bring his A game.

Stefano Langone/Hello/Lionel Richie - Awww, cupcake! He’s such a cutie. Hello is an interesting pick. I am going to pretend that he’s doing it because he’s riffing off the Hello poster meme. That would only make me love him even more. And I had totally forgotten Cookie Monster sang this song, so thanks for the reminder Ry Ry. So, the plan was to take a cheesy song and make it even more cheesy and then to sing through your nose for the entire thing? Interesting choice. And JLo brings the real critique. He didn’t connect to the song. (I didn’t think he sang it particularly well myself this time) It was cheesy because it’s a cheesy song but Lionel made you believe tha the meant that cheese. Stefano was just like a lounge singer. In fact, the judges gave some of the best critique they’ve given. He’s not going anywhere because he’s adorable, but that was not his best.

Ewww. That was uncomfortable, Ryan. The thing with Gordon Ramsey hating on Mama Langone’s pasta? Badly done. And so not up to his normal standards. I’ll blame the hair.

Haley Reinhart/You Really Got a Hold on Me/Smokey Robinson – She’s singing up tempo on this song? Huh. Weird. What the hell is she wearing? Thank god they were shorts, I guess? Because I thought we were going to have a Britney beaver moment when she was coming down those stairs. Did not like the mid-tempo version of this song. She has a good voice and she was on pitch and she did some interesting things with the melody towards the end, but good gravy. And the squat potty dancing was just wrong. And the whole impression was just kind of disjointed and all over the place, but the judges weren’t wrong. Again. Her voice is a wonderous instrument and she has amazing control. The runs were pristine and the high note at the end? Forget about it. And with all that, I still didn’t enjoy much of anything about the performance. The shoes. The shoes were fierce. And I’d still rather see JonBenet Megia go home first.

The back stage interview have got to stop.

Scotty McCreery/For Once In My Life/Stevie Wonder - Eeeesh. I can’t see this ending well. And singing it slow like a ballad? Unexpected. But it works. And you know, this kid has such a throw back Nashville voice. This kid is going to be a country superstar. He made this song work. And I didn’t think he was gonna be able to do it. Respect, Scotty McCreery. You worked it out. I still don’t think he’ll win this show, but he showed personality and spunk today.

Pia Toscano/All In Love Is Fair/Stevie Wonder – She’s really gorgeous. JLo gorgeous. And she picked a great, great song. I love this cut, so she better bring it. Broughten. The girl can flat out blow. I agree that she needs to do something other than a ballad. And she needs to own the swag. Once she does that? This girl is already a star. Twinkle, twinkle.

Paul McDonald/Tracks of My Tears/Smokey Robinson - My mom is watching with me and she was shocked, shocked to find out that this fool was a contestant. “I thought he was a truck driver.” Exactly, maman. This is a gorgeous song. I’m skeerid ‘cause I don’t think he can sing it well. He has a guitar, so at least we are spared the spastic, skeleton dancing. But dear lord, the voice. The voice. Please make it stop. This has to be outlawed under the Geneva Conventions. And he biffed the words, too. Dammit, these songs are classics. Why do these kids not know the words? This is all they have to do all week long. Learn your damn words. The tone is unique, Dawg? The tone sucks ass. Like Dylan? Well, yeah, I guess. He can’t sing either. Was there even a note in tune?

Naima Adedapo/Dancing in the Streets/Martha Reeves and the Vandellas – This song is cursed on AI. Has it ever been sung well on this show? It’s brought down way mightier voices than Naima. And this song is a party song, it’s not a let me show you I can sing in this singing competition song. And Naima should’ve gone on SYTYCD, apparently. Her voice sounds the best it’s ever sounded since her very first audition. Wow. I didn’t think she had it in her. It’s not great, but it’s in tune which is something she hasn’t achieved in all of the finals. And she does have a sense of drama about her. The African dance break actually worked. That’s the best she’s ever done on the show. As Steven said, she ate the stage. She brought the what-it-is-ness.

And Gokey 2.0 in the pimp slot. Feck. I had forgotten all about that fool. Why are there still so many of them?

I'm actually not interested in watching the Top Chef Finale. I don't like either of them. Technically, I hate Richard less, but he's been kind of a dick as well (as opposed to Mike's immense dickishness). Eh.