While I joke about it, I really do want the Eldergoth Retirement Home to be a real thing.

Yes. Buffista retirement home, even if we don't make it to buffista island?

My parents have toured multiple places in Indianapolis (which I'm certain are far cheaper than anything in Seattle) but mostly because then they get free lunch. And can decide if a place has good food.

What I'm about to say sounds like absolutely the worst thing, but -- I generally assume my dad will die suddenly from a heart attack before he ever reaches the point that he needs assisted living.

My mom, on the other hand, turns 70 next year and shows no signs of slowing down. She's a powerhouse in a totally non-elderly way. My stepdad is 12 years younger than her, so I tend to assume that, if she ever does slow down, he can take care of her.

My mother (of some fame here) is talking about assisted living because her husband is 83 and showing his age, with some mobility issues (balance and inability to walk far) and some 'questionable judgment' issues - she describes it as reduced inhibition. He'll lose $100 and stuff. Their house is all stairs, which I think is the biggest physical issue. Socially, she is not working and his daughter lives next door, so you'd think they would be okay not leaving him alone much, but apparently in practice this is a problem.

But my mother in assisted living? She's 65 and healthy as a horse. She would drive everyone she dealt with, plus me, BANANAS.

I am, sadly, grateful I didn't have to look after Hubby as his health issue snowballed. He would have ended up in a wheelchair eventually, which was his lifelong terror, and it would have been bad. Operatic-level tragedy is better than the long, slow, grinding decline. Daddy overworked himself into a fatal heart attack, Mother was in assisted living in her own little apartment when she didn't want to take care of a house anymore. Her last decline wasn't very long.

For myself, I'm hoping to get another good 15 years. When I retire, maybe I'll have health and resources to be on my own in some sort of communal situation.

I do almost wish my parents had MORE stairs in their house (it's all flat, ranch style), because it would force them to consider moving much sooner. As is, my dad has already fallen a few times, and it's dangerous!

I do almost wish my parents had MORE stairs in their house (it's all flat, ranch style), because it would force them to consider moving much sooner. As is, my dad has already fallen a few times, and it's dangerous!

Yeah, Tim's dad's house is a ranch with a finished basement, but the washing machine and dryer are on the main level, so he never needs to go in the basement. Stairs would force him to be realistic about moving. (And he has also fallen a few times. He has a LifeAlert thing now, although I'm not sure he wears it.)

Oh, Jilli, that's so great! I am so happy for your dad!

I sometimes think I'll be living with my sister when we get really old, but I've never mentioned it to her

Me, too (with my sister, not Consuela's) but her kids are still living with her and her soon-to-be ex-husband only recently moved out, I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to be thinking that far down the road just yet.

I am so down with the Buffista retirement community I don't know if I can express it in words and sound sincere.

I have also been thinking that I could move in with my parents and keep my job if the level of care I could provide part-time like that would be helpful. Haven't mentioned that to them, either. I could theoretically move them in with me, too, I guess, but their house is nicer than mine (neither is really good as far as stairs go) and they have a good network of friends built up where they are.

network of friends built up where they are.

This is one of the reasons I feel like my parents wouldn't move. And I remember my grandmother having issues about it, but by the time she moved all her friends had died or moved to Florida, so...I do wonder if my willingness would be affected by the fact that so many of my friends are online and that's how I see them, so moving wouldnt matter?