I have also been thinking that I could move in with my parents and keep my job if the level of care I could provide part-time like that would be helpful. Haven't mentioned that to them, either. I could theoretically move them in with me, too, I guess, but their house is nicer than mine (neither is really good as far as stairs go) and they have a good network of friends built up where they are.

network of friends built up where they are.

This is one of the reasons I feel like my parents wouldn't move. And I remember my grandmother having issues about it, but by the time she moved all her friends had died or moved to Florida, so...I do wonder if my willingness would be affected by the fact that so many of my friends are online and that's how I see them, so moving wouldnt matter?

My mom's cousin is in a really nice retirement home -- it's got a dining room with parquet floors and a chandelier, and a library with comfy chairs and a lot of large-print books, and various sorts of activities every day, and each resident has a suite with a living room and bedroom and kitchenette, and the people who work there all seem great -- but whenever we visit, my mother makes sure to tell us as we leave that she never wants to be in a "place like this."

My dad's mother was fairly active until pretty soon before she died -- she was still going out to do her own grocery shopping, and going to synagogue activities, and stuff like that. When she got sick, it was pretty much that she could live for a few months in the hospital with a lot of treatments, or she could go home and die in a few weeks, and she chose to go home. My parents hired a home health aide to stay in the spare bedroom and take care of her, and my dad went to visit her every day after work, and my mom and I went to see her most weekends.

My parents are early 70s and I am ready for them to be in an independent living place with tiered service when they need it. That is what I plan to do, be in independent housing within a tiered place by late 60s early 70s. If I cannot afford the high end market value places, then I plan to spend a ton of money and meet the income requirements for the one with income restrictions.

I can get real deep into how to pay for various options, but will refrain (unless anyone wants to hear it!).

For the longest time, people did generally die at home "in the bosom of their family."

There's amazing stuff from the Civil War about soldiers arranging pictures of dying soldiers' families around them to try to recreate this on the battlefield.

Yes. Buffista retirement home, even if we don't make it to buffista island?

This strikes me as a pretty feasible idea. 8 or 10 of us pooling resources when we hit retirement age could get much nicer digs in a multi-bedroom house than we'd be able to afford solo, and maybe arrange housekeeping, a cook, and an LPN or two to look after residents. I don't know about the complexities involved in more intensive medical care, but it might work for those who just need a bit of looking after but not round-the-clock care. And we've already self-selected for sharing a lot of interests and enjoying each other's company...

I have a bedroom available now. Not even kidding.

Does it have stairs?

I are accomplished. I finally located a PCP right near my apartment, so I've scheduled an appointment for a physical and to discuss renewing my prescriptions as well as requested a travel consultation so I can get some malaria pills and antibiotics in case I drink the water or eat unpeeled fruit.

Dad was in pretty good health, right up until he wasn't. Mom has been in bad health for more than a decade now, has pretty much no mobility, and is still in her home with my sister living there and in house care. Officially she's in hospice now, but the way things are that could go for a long time, it's already been since summer.

She absolutely did not want to go into assisted care. My sister was adamant about not "abandoning her in a warehouse for people" and so they have what they have now. Both of them are miserable, and I've got a lot of guilt about it.

So yeah, that all sucks.

We just were not at all prepared for mom to outlive dad, and it's now been seven and a half years since he died.