This money, it is too much. You should have some small refund.

Niska ,'War Stories'

ita's thread

A place where we can talk about ita, miss ita, and share information about memorials. The hugging started over here in Natter.

DavidS - Jan 13, 2015 9:43:06 am PST #37 of 3136
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

Many of us learned quickly that we had better be prepared to back up random posts.

Oh god yes! I have a Stop sign in my head labeled 'ita" just to check myself from making broad categorical generalizations.

She busted me on that shit so often.

There are small dedicated parts of my brain entirely dedicated to dialogue and discussions and fights I've had with her. Thinking it through still.

And I have to say on the very rare occasion that she conceded a point to me, getting a "hmph" from her was like getting a gold star from Dumbledore.

Miracleman - Jan 13, 2015 9:44:33 am PST #38 of 3136
No, I don't think I will - me, quoting Captain Steve Rogers, to all of 2020

I think secretly I always had half an eye on making ita laugh. Like, it's great to be COMM'ed, but if ita laughed...

Sean K - Jan 13, 2015 9:50:13 am PST #39 of 3136
You can't leave me to my own devices; my devices are Nap and Eat. -Zenkitty

making people check their assumptions

THIS! This right here. I do this to myself now because of her. This has helped make me a better person, to the extent that I am, because of her.

javachik - Jan 13, 2015 9:51:22 am PST #40 of 3136
Our wings are not tired.

(Cross-posted with Natter.)

Like you all, I am having a hard time fathoming this. And I am so grateful you're all here and remembering and talking and honoring. I am so incredibly sorry for her family and Paula, and Norah and Allyson and everyone.

My favorite memory was when I finally met her at Kristin and Drew's wedding and I said "I know you don't hug" and put my hand out to shake her hand. And she enveloped me in a bear hug and told me I was ridiculous.

As I shared on FB, we had just talked the Friday before she left for Jamaica. I had sent her a router and a TiVo earlier and we were getting through the password shenanigans. She was excited about starting at the new job when she returned, and I could hear a lilt of hope in her voice that I hadn't heard for a long time. I remember getting off the phone and thinking "2015 is going to be her year." Fuck.

I probably can't do much day-to-day stuff in person in LA, but I can send funds to help with transport or other details. And I do plan to attend any memorial.

I love you all. And those of you who are making brief visits to talk about ita, I am so glad you've come back to say hi.

Volans - Jan 13, 2015 9:51:42 am PST #41 of 3136
move out and draw fire

I won't know what to not click on.

DavidS - Jan 13, 2015 9:53:19 am PST #42 of 3136
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

Here she is with her spicy brains from the Ghost in the Shell discussion:

I'm keying on this, because one of the things we have in common is that we default to ourselves. I'm not saying there aren't a lot of people who subscribe to the American/Western ideals who aren't American or white or blonde or muscular/skinny as represented, but most often, prevailing local culture sways storytelling, and I think that's increasingly prevalent as more cultures shake off colonialisation and invasion after-effects (which Japan doesn't have to do).

I'm never going to say not to treat people like individuals who parse their culture(s) through their own experiences, but in absence of anything other than "An X wrote this", I think it's polite to assume until proven otherwise that X was talking about themselves. Because we're narrow like that.

(I still think the American Gods "he never mentioned race unless people were white" reasoning is a specious argument, because black people mention race all the time. It's a big deal in the West. That's the post-diasporic culture, which differs from many African countries.)

le nubian - Jan 13, 2015 9:53:53 am PST #43 of 3136
"And to be clear, I am the hell. And the high water."


love it.

Nora Deirdre - Jan 13, 2015 9:53:58 am PST #44 of 3136
I’m responsible for my own happiness? I can’t even be responsible for my own breakfast! (Bojack Horseman)

I won't know what to not click on.


Allyson - Jan 13, 2015 9:54:15 am PST #45 of 3136
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica

The last time we really, really talked was at the holidays. She was having a hard time and asked if she could come stay with us.

The last time we shared 400sq ft. This time, I could offer a guest room and Kristen said she'd call to get a direct tv hookup in there. She said we were angels, and that was pretty much it.

msbelle - Jan 13, 2015 9:54:53 am PST #46 of 3136
I remember the crazy days. 500 posts an hour. Nubmer! Natgbsb

Omg Raq! Right? I swear it is solely because of ita that I know about 2girls1cup and goatzee and who knows what other horrors. And she loved that, she loved grossing us out and linking up to some completely inappropriate thing.