Betsy!! As much as I hate that it's the pain demons that drew you out, it's always wonderful to see your pixels.

I had every reason and right to be angry, but it was making me miserable. And it was going to make me a shitty person and a shitty parent. So. I chose not to be angry.

David and Connie, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't support someone in feeling completely justified in their righteous anger/resentment. Lord knows, I'm pretty sure I was right to be angry about some stuff in my life.

But, as you say, there comes a point where you can make a choice about how you are doing to deal. Even if it is taking responsibility for NOT dealing. When you don't grapple with that choice, you just can't win.

I guess I'm so fierce on this issue because I realized that being the angriest dog in the universe just meant my father/family/evil/circumstances won TWICE and I just couldn't have that. In the end, the peace I have in my heart warms me much better than the anger ever did.

(Nice one, David. I'm going to use, "It'll burn in your chest but it won't keep you warm at night," if you don't mind.)

Betsy! t muppet waves

Totally shifting gears, David, I stand by my love of Kindred, as expressed yesterday. (was that here or in Bitches?)

I rewatched the series and, while it began so shakily as to creak, I loved the progression of the dialogue and characters. And, god help me, I worship Mark Frankel, may he rest in peace.

While I really admired Ultraviolet...especially the medical aspects...I never much connected with any of the characters. ita is right, Kindred as cheestastic, but I enjoyed it so much more 'up close' than the detached appreciation I have for Ultraviolet.

Then again, I loved Blood Ties too. So, there may be no accounting for my taste.

I've just added advil cold and sinus (the behind-the-counter-good-stuff) to the medication stew in my system. If this doesn't solve the headache I'll go to the doctor. I'm unsure if it's a sinus problem, and I feel like ass complaining about my head with ita's constant storm.

Nice to see you, Betsy!

Ugh. I'm still dealing with anger and bitterness. I've gotten much much better but it still doesn't seem good enough. But what helped me, perversely, was getting RSI. Getting a zap of physical pain when I get angry makes me have to ask whether it's worth it to be angry.

Have forced myself to make some tracking calls to radio stations. Y'see, music directors generally only have a few office hours per week where artists can call and ask whether their album has made it into the station library and whether they've gotten airplay. No way I can get through KCRW's busy signal. But I managed to get through to a very small indie station and may be getting an email back on that matter.

Now I have to grit my teeth and pay some medical bills.

the next thing coming is going to be a whip with an electrical cord or some wire.

Oh, Jesus. Man, I just want to hug you both forEVER.

I had to learn to let go of my "righteous" anger. I had every reason and right to be angry, but it was making me miserable. And it was going to make me a shitty person and a shitty parent. So. I chose not to be angry.

Huh. Cool.

ION, I'm trying to apply this to the current political situation. Maybe I just need to stop reading political blogs....

I guess I'm so fierce on this issue because I realized that being the angriest dog in the universe just meant my father/family/evil/circumstances won TWICE and I just couldn't have that. In the end, the peace I have in my heart warms me much better than the anger ever did.

That is my feeling about a lot of anger / old resentments, etc. So even if there are people that I won't cry over when they are gone, that is where I try to leave it.

But intersetingly, asthma has my full on anger and hatred. It gets in my way all the time. Diabetes - not so much . I can deal with that one. But there are times when bending over to pick something off the ground can make me out of breath, and that makes me angry. red hot blinding angry. and resentful . and feel that things are unfair. So my current way of dealing with it is to see the anger , feel the anger, acknowledge the anger, and let it go. Letting go is hard, but you don't really breath well when you are angry.

My mother could call her up, if you want. She'll be begging to talk to you, again, Bonny. Let me know if you want a Bad Cop.