Adventures in Criminal Masterminds...The Early Years:
Emeline discovered Aims' Not-So-Secret Stash of Hershey's chocolate kisses (cleverly hidden on Aims' bedside table). I let her have one.
Five minutes later she's headed back upstairs. "Where are you going, Punk?" I ask, knowing full well what she intends.
"Oh, I'm just going to see what you have on your TV in your room," she answers. I follow her up.
"Daddy, stay downstairs," she says.
"I want to see what I have on my TV, too," I reply, disingenuous.
Frowning, she proceeds. Once upstairs, she glares at me then stomps over to our TV, determined to carry out the charade. As she turns it on to find "Scrubs" is on ("Daddy, it's one of your shows." "Is it? Who'da thunk?") I grab the chocolate kisses.
"Daddy, what are you doing?"
"Putting these away, Punk." I then go downstairs and place the kisses on a high shelf in the pantry. She stomps after me, brow furrowed in mad plotting.
"Daddy, I can't reach those."
"I know."
She contemplates a moment, then strides purposefully to her room, announcing "I'm going to get my stool."
So naturally I move the kisses to a high shelf in a different cupboard and close the cupboard door. She returns and places her stool in front of the pantry, chatting amiably all the while to distract me.
"Daddy, I think it's a new 'Penguins of Madagascar' on downstairs," she informs me. (She knows I'm a sucker for the show. Kowalski cracks me up.)
"Cool. Oh, hey, Punk, if you direct your attention upward, you will see that the object of your nefarious scheme is no longer where it was."
She looks up and sees the kisses are gone. Her eyes widen, her nostrils flare. "Where are they?!"
"Hidden away." I kneel in front of her. "Point of order, Punk. Informing me of your intentions to steal something is a basic no-no of criminal planning. This is why the Riddler always gets caught."
She scowls at me and says "I wanna be the Joker."
"We all have dreams, Punkin'. We all have dreams."