How old is she/how long has she been out of college? Because I did some *seriously* stupid shit in college that I'm not proud of now, and if that disqualified me as a potential long-term partner, I'd be living in a cave right now.
The age question is important. Our opinions are more likely to parrot our parents and immediate circle when we are younger. My boys are pinko progressive liberal Obama lovers because of my influence. I expect that they will form their own opinions in time. In fact I already see it starting.
The big issue for me would be how open she is to you holding different opinions. Intelligent debate can be lots of fun, but it can be tough to keep it polite and respectful.
The cheating thing is an integrity issue, and that's either there or not.
::sits with Vortex and the others on this bench::
Because it deserves its own post:
Much ~ma to your cousin's family, Cindy.
Envy me, puny mortals - for my breakfast is a package of instant oatmeal mixed with blueberry-strawberry compote, topped with slivered almonds. And I'm not sharing - mostly because we're out of slivered almonds.
Because I did some *seriously* stupid shit in college that I'm not proud of now, and if that disqualified me as a potential long-term partner, I'd be living in a cave right now.
I could be wrong, but my impression from Omnis' post was that she WAS proud of it, which to me is a much bigger flag than her having done it in the first place.
I could be wrong, but my impression from Omnis' post was that she WAS proud of it
I didn't get that from what he said, but I was also uncaffeinated when I read it.
Anyway, I have no dog in this hunt, but I have to say, I've done *seriously* inappropriate shit that might lead people (apparently many Buffistas) to consider I lack ethics and integrity. Extrapolating from that, some might think that my past behavior means that I'll cheat on my current partner.
Which is why I say, thank goodness for second chances and having a partner who actually believes that I hold myself to a higher standard now.
It is likely that many of us would rather not be judged on the folly of youth. I have done seriously inappropriate things and believe I have learned from past mistakes.
I guess I didn't think it would be a red flag if she'd presented the story as "Here's a stupid thing I did when I was 18."
We all have stuff we're embarrassed about in our past-- it makes us human. I think the thing that gives me pause is that she's mentioning it in such an offhand sort of way, which is how it came across to me in omnis' recounting. Certainly, if I was in the early days of what I thought might be a potential relationship, this is not something I'd be bringing up in an offhand manner, but rather, if it came up at all, in a "Wow, I was really freakin' stupid" sort of way.
It just seems like a strange thing to be bringing up, I guess. I mean, I know you want someone to like you warts and all, but that's not how it came across to me.
Long-winded way of saying, context is definitely important here.
