Well, that sucks, Aimee.
Teppy, that's a tough situation. At work when residents get a little too touchy-feely the staff have come up with a formula of, "I'm sorry, I like to save my ____ (kisses, hugs, whatever form of physical affection) for my ____ (family, boyfriend, whatever special relationship category that the person does not qualify as). How about a ____ (handshake, one-armed side-hug, whatever form of affection does not cross boundaries) instead?" The last sentence can be replaced with "I need my space" if need be (there are a couple of folks who occasionally try to sit on laps. And then change the subject away from the boundary - otherwise there can be a certain amount of obsessing and further testing of our boundaries. We say it cheerfully, with a friendly smile, and it seems to prevent hurt feelings, as well as enforce boundaries.
So for you it might work out to, "I'm sorry, I like to save my hugs for The Boy. I need my space. Say, did you ever get those pictures from your trip back? I'd love to see them."
I'm sort of inbetween on the hug thing . If someone initiates it, fine, I'll deal but it is rare that I initiate it.
To be honest -- I'd rather here it straight out. Sorry , not a hugger -- or WS approach is even better.
DH has a friend that is a Buddhist monk. At guitar gatherings he has to say 'monks don't hug' -- which is a little awkward -- however should people really touch without asking? I mean you are in a circle where asking is normal-- so setting up a boundry should be acceptable.
You know what's weird? Going shopping for just two adults, no children to consider.
Thanks, beth!
It's also rather disconcerting to call the boarders and when you say your name and which pets you're calling about, they start laughing.
should people really touch without asking? I mean you are in a circle where asking is normal
This is what bothers me the most of all.
It's also rather disconcerting to call the boarders and when you say your name and which pets you're calling about, they start laughing.
Well, it's better than if they start crying. Or if they say, "Excuse me - let me get my supervisor."
Yes - laughing is much better than crying. Or a spontaneous "when are you picking them up?"
My patio guy hasn't shown. which is not entirely unexpected. But I got to go to the store -- so he doesn't get a wasp warning if he doesn't show...
Steph, when I've gone through that (and I have) I usually preempt the hug by shoving my hand out there for a handshake, coupled with a "Great to see ya!" If they give me weird look, I shrug and say "Head issues."
That usually does the trick and dumps the "What a prick!" energy over into the "Oh, he's just nuts" bin.
