The dating discussion: I didn't really date until I met my Girl (when I was 27). Consequently, I don't think I know how to flirt. I find the whole concept a bit of a mystery. Are you meant to be communicating that you like the person? If so, why not just tell them? Direct communication: a very good friend to those of us on the autistic spectrum. (I asked The Girl out after our first meeting. She was surprised and confused by this direct approach. She then spent six months flirting, and I didn't notice. Now she knows to ask me things a little more directly.)

I need no date-ma!

Whoops. I entirely misunderstood. Apologies. It was the mention of cute, geeky girls that did it. Clearly, I only want them for one thing, and it's not dice.

And I'm with you on the added complication-thing of dating girls when you're a bi girl. But I settled down with one anyway. And now I never get an non-emotionally-fraught moment. But otherwise life is good.

And talking of the good life, I have to get back to planning a wedding. That emotionally fraught thing? Is all over this at the moment. Thank god the venue we're hoping for is nice [link] and also simple in organizational terms. 'Cause I think I'm going to need all my energy to put into not killing the other half while we plan this thing, for the next nine months. Hmph.

Ahhh, the flirting impaired. meara should just market tapes of herself out on a Saturday night and you would know all.

I would buy that tape.

I had three dates (individual dates, not boyfriends) in high-school, went out with three guys in college, finally got laid in grad school, had a six month relationship with someone in my mid-20s, had a truly dysfunctional maybe-we're-dating-maybe-not relationship in my late-20s, and haven't had more than a coffee with a potential fella since.

At some points in my 30s I asked people if I had smell or personality issues that I needed to address, but nothing came to light. Well, one friend suggested that guys just weren't that into me, which evidence does support. Not helpful, though. Luckily, I don't want kids and I've found a lot of non-romantic things to do with my life that I enjoy.

Looks really pretty, Seska.

I, too, would buy meara's dating tips.

I was clearly angstily gazing at my naval during flirting school. I'm just WAY too direct. But, thankfully, some people like that...you always know where you stand with me.

If you need to "fix" someone you're with the wrong someone.

Sing it BROTHER.

I have so graduated from Martyr U. And got the gold watch, retiring from the human repair industry as it relates to dating. All DONE.

It helps tremendously that I do it for a living, which makes the boundaries so much clearer.

Very, very me. So much so that I asked my mom (the psych-nurse) if I were anywhere on the Asperger's spectrum.

She said no, they'd had me evaluated as a child, and I was just a clueless asshole sometimes. (THANKS MOM)

OMG I love you, SH. I must COMM this.

I think I forgot to say happy birthday to Sox. Happy Belated Birthday, Sox!

Poor technologically challenged pets. Poor askye. Poor bonny.

Re: flirting -- I have no problem flirting if I don't have anything invested in the other person, but when it's high-stakes, I have a harder time.

For instance, if I *really* like the person, I have a hard time flirting, because OMG, what if I screw it up, come on too strong, or say the wrong thing, and then they won't like me?!?

But if it's just casual, I'm cool with it. And also, if it's someone with whom I know nothing is going to happen (married/en-coupled friends, for example), I'm cool with flirting, because, again, I'm not deeply emotionally invested in the outcome.

Does that make me shallow?

Does that make me shallow?

No! Exactly the opposite, IMO: it makes you RATIONAL. (And who doesn't like to be flirted with, ESPECIALLY from safety? Wonderful ego-boost, and there's no messy afterburn either!)

Pix - I love my mom, I really do. She gets me, and she makes me LAUGH. And she got that what I was REALLY asking was, "Can I somehow AVOID taking responsibility for screwing up royally? PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE?" and she pulled out the parental rolled-up newspaper and thwacked me. As she should. :)

Rut row. Long line. Rumored sold out. Didn't buy tickets ahead of time.

Bugger. Good luck, Omnis!