For instance, if I *really* like the person, I have a hard time flirting, because OMG, what if I screw it up, come on too strong, or say the wrong thing, and then they won't like me?!?

I'm the opposite. (which is a rarity when it comes too you and me Tep!) I think I sometimes dare the other person to take me as I am, by coming on much too strong. Then, when they ease away cautiously, I feel as if I've dodged a bullet.

I used to be a real pursuer, trying to convince a potential of all my great qualities. Or, per the rescuer fetish, why they needed me. Now, I really, really want to find someone who just wants me...rather than needs. Or, I'll take what's behind the empty curtain.

I am home. The event was over capacity. I waited in the 98°f hot sun for 35 minutes. I tried to break free from my shy shackles and go to an event solo. Cest la vie, right? Looks like I might be joining some friends for roller derby tonight. Ya think I should wear the snog shirt?

StuntHusband: Very, very me. So much so that I asked my mom (the psych-nurse) if I were anywhere on the Asperger's spectrum.

She said no, they'd had me evaluated as a child, and I was just a clueless asshole sometimes. (THANKS MOM)

If I had ever become a mom, I hope I'd have been like SH's mom. Love this.

Looks like I might be joining some friends for roller derby tonight. Ya think I should wear the snog shirt?

What's the worst that could happen?

Speaking as a flirt, I feel like flirting is at its most fun when the flirting is the end in itself.

Ya think I should wear the snog shirt?

Definitely. Find out where their after-party is (there will be one, guaranteed) and wear it there.

if I *really* like the person, I have a hard time flirting, because OMG, what if I screw it up, come on too strong, or say the wrong thing, and then they won't like me?!?

My brain doesn't even cycle through this stuff. When I'm in proximity to someone I really really like my brain just sits there like a goldfish. If it's just a friend I can flirt like Mae West.

I have never dated anyone. I had one boyfriend in high school, then met DH the first night of freshman year in college. And had I not met DH the way I did, I would almost certainly be living a solo life of extreme hermitude alone with my laptop because I am WOEFULLY unsocialized. (To the point where identifying with Willow was impossible because she had TOO MANY FRIENDS. Anya, I got right away.)

meara should just market tapes of herself out on a Saturday night and you would know all.

Hahahha! It's true...I did at one point in my life have to learn how to turn it OFF. And still tend more to be just needing to be aware that it's ON, rather than turning it off. :)

(And I have at points, turned it on high power, and demonstrated it for friends as my superpower, and they were like "Oh holy god, I had no idea, shiiiiit!") But at the same time, I'm with Burrell--it's way more fun when the flirting is an end of itself--it's why I loooove flirting with gay men. We both know it's going NOWHERE, since I like girls and they like boys, but we can have a great time.

That said, apparently I should quit bitching, because I have now been asked out twice in the past week. Not really by people I am interested in, would be the problem, but not by anyone inappropriate or heinous or anything. Completely appropriate nice interesting people who I like conversing with. Just not people I'm drooling over or crushing on. Sigh.

...I did not intend to kill the thread with my flirtatious ability! Come back! I will flirt with you or not flirt with you, which ever you like, if you just come back! Please? Pretty please? t smiles sweetly, lowers chin, bats eyes, bites lip, twists foot