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Angel: Connor, this is Spike and Illyria. Guys, this is Connor. Connor: Hi. umm...I like your outfit. Illyria: Your body warms. This one is lusting after me. Connor: Oh...no, I--I--it's just that it's the outfit. I guess I've had a thing for older women. Angel: They were supposed to fix that.

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[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.

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Vortex - Jul 05, 2009 7:43:12 am PDT #15258 of 30000
"Cry havoc and let slip the boobs of war!" -- Miracleman

So, my mother calls me at 2AM. I'm in bed, but I answer the phone because my SIL is two days from her due date and I am on standby. she is calling because my 2nd cousin's 3rd birthday is tomorrow and I've been "invited". I have not been invited, my mother is on this "everyone has to be equal" thing (i.e. she gives me and my SIL the same gift for Christmas). My bro is invited because he has a 4 year old, but I should be invited too! @@ Look, I love my family, but I see this kid maybe three times a year, and my aunt/cousin didn't invite me because they didn't want to put me in the position of being invited to an event that I have no interest in attending and have no reason to be at, but feel like I have to because it's family. but, my mother has to fuck it up AND call at 2AM the day before!!!! I've just told her that I can't make it. I can't make it because I'm busy watching the Food Network, but I didn't get into that.

Zenkitty - Jul 05, 2009 7:55:20 am PDT #15259 of 30000
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.

It was nice of you to let all those people watch fireworks from the top of your mountain, Zen. I'm sure they appreciate it.

I'm generous like that!

And today I'm covered in mosquito bites (okay, I have two, but I usually don't get bit at all) and sleepy.

Vortex, geez. 2AM calls are for emergencies only.

Nora Deirdre - Jul 05, 2009 7:57:44 am PDT #15260 of 30000
I’m responsible for my own happiness? I can’t even be responsible for my own breakfast! (Bojack Horseman)

I had so many unwanted conversations with my dad the last week or so of my sister's pregnancy because I thought it might be news of my nephew's birth.

Happily, now I can go back to screening my calls so I am not subjected to his drunken rambling calls.

Tom Scola - Jul 05, 2009 8:01:09 am PDT #15261 of 30000
hwæt

Does your Mom have any pets, Vortex?

omnis_audis - Jul 05, 2009 8:59:20 am PDT #15262 of 30000
omnis, pursue. That's an order from a shy woman who can use M-16. - Shir

Does your Mom have any pets, Vortex?
To infect with rabies?? Jeesh. 2am?!?! That's just all kinds of wrong.

I just woke up. Yes, I'm a lazy bum. Maybe I shouldn't have watched 2 movies after coming home last night. But the first one sucked so bad, I had to watch something else. And dang it, it's my day off.

meara - Jul 05, 2009 9:10:18 am PDT #15263 of 30000

OMG, Vortex. Does she often call at 2AM??? I would've killed her as soon as I realized it wasn't about SIL's giving birth RIGHT NOW. Ay. WTF???

omnis_audis - Jul 05, 2009 9:12:49 am PDT #15264 of 30000
omnis, pursue. That's an order from a shy woman who can use M-16. - Shir

I would've killed her as soon as I realized it wasn't about SIL's giving birth RIGHT NOW. Ay. WTF???
Ssshhhh. Rabies to the pets. Then they bite her. Sounds like a perfect plan. Nobody will ever suspect. sssshhhhhh with the redrum talk.

sj - Jul 05, 2009 9:15:08 am PDT #15265 of 30000
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."

I would have hung up as soon as I realized it wasn't an emergency. Although everyone that knows me would never call between 10 & 10. They're too afraid of me.

Fay - Jul 05, 2009 9:24:01 am PDT #15266 of 30000
"Fuck Western ideologically-motivated gender identification!" Sulu gasped, and came.

Honestly, I don't even know how to post without just being very disparaging about your mother. Because, TWO O'CLOCK IN THE FUCKING MORNING? SERIOUSLY? Unless you have severed an artery or the house is on fire, or it's a booty call that you KNOW will be well received, there is really no possible justification for calling someone at 2 o'clock in the fucking morning.

Hell, some sleazy stranger was in the habit of calling me up with heavy breathing shit when I lived in Egypt, and when he rang me at 3am on a school night (my father not being in good health at all at this point, I was certainly not about to ignore any middle-of-the-night calls) and I was so beyond enraged that, in addition to bellowing "FUCK OFF AND DIE YOU SHITHEAD!!!" down the phone in my best, most thoroughly unsexy, 'Totally Livid And Prepared To Stick A Chainsaw Up Your Ass, Cut Out Your Heart And Feed It To You As You Splutter Out Your Last Bloody Gasps, Before Chopping Off Your Head And Shitting Down Your Neck, And Your Mother Would Totally Back Me Up, You Fuckstain' tones of rabid righteous fury (he did start to splutter an apology, which was the first time he'd shown any sign of registering that I was not, in fact, a random whore, despite being an English speaker) I slammed the phone handset down so hard that I broke the phone.

Ahem.

Not that I am suggesting you should be threatening to murder your mother, or breaking the phone. But I am astounded that she would imagine 2am is an appropriate time to call anyone for anything that is not immediately life-threatening. (Or a bootycall. From Johnny Depp.)

sj - Jul 05, 2009 9:27:43 am PDT #15267 of 30000
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."

Today is my "niece's" 3rd birthday party, and I will get to meet her little brother for the first time. I should be super excited, but I can't seem to muster the tiniest bit of enthusiasm.

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