I had so many unwanted conversations with my dad the last week or so of my sister's pregnancy because I thought it might be news of my nephew's birth.
Happily, now I can go back to screening my calls so I am not subjected to his drunken rambling calls.
Does your Mom have any pets, Vortex?
Does your Mom have any pets, Vortex?
To infect with rabies?? Jeesh. 2am?!?! That's just all kinds of wrong.
I just woke up. Yes, I'm a lazy bum. Maybe I shouldn't have watched 2 movies after coming home last night. But the first one sucked so bad, I had to watch something else. And dang it, it's my day off.
OMG, Vortex. Does she often call at 2AM??? I would've killed her as soon as I realized it wasn't about SIL's giving birth RIGHT NOW. Ay. WTF???
I would've killed her as soon as I realized it wasn't about SIL's giving birth RIGHT NOW. Ay. WTF???
Ssshhhh. Rabies to the pets. Then they bite her. Sounds like a perfect plan. Nobody will ever suspect. sssshhhhhh with the redrum talk.
I would have hung up as soon as I realized it wasn't an emergency. Although everyone that knows me would never call between 10 & 10. They're too afraid of me.
Honestly, I don't even know how to post without just being very disparaging about your mother. Because, TWO O'CLOCK IN THE FUCKING MORNING? SERIOUSLY? Unless you have severed an artery or the house is on fire, or it's a booty call that you KNOW will be well received, there is really no possible justification for calling someone at 2 o'clock in the fucking morning.
Hell, some sleazy stranger was in the habit of calling me up with heavy breathing shit when I lived in Egypt, and when he rang me at 3am on a school night (my father not being in good health at all at this point, I was certainly not about to ignore any middle-of-the-night calls) and I was so beyond enraged that, in addition to bellowing
"FUCK OFF AND DIE YOU SHITHEAD!!!"
down the phone in my best, most thoroughly unsexy, 'Totally Livid And Prepared To Stick A Chainsaw Up Your Ass, Cut Out Your Heart And Feed It To You As You Splutter Out Your Last Bloody Gasps, Before Chopping Off Your Head And Shitting Down Your
Neck,
And Your Mother Would Totally Back Me Up, You Fuckstain'
tones of rabid righteous fury (he did start to splutter an apology, which was the first time he'd shown any sign of registering that I was not, in fact, a random whore, despite being an English speaker) I slammed the phone handset down so hard that I broke the phone.
Ahem.
Not that I am suggesting you should be threatening to murder your mother, or breaking the phone. But I am
astounded
that she would imagine 2am is an appropriate time to call anyone for anything that is not immediately life-threatening. (Or a bootycall. From Johnny Depp.)
Today is my "niece's" 3rd birthday party, and I will get to meet her little brother for the first time. I should be super excited, but I can't seem to muster the tiniest bit of enthusiasm.
I should be super excited, but I can't seem to muster the tiniest bit of enthusiasm.
don't beat yourself up... Tom and I have been pretty anti-social all weekend too- sometimes it's tough going to get the energy to, well, get going. Once you get there, I am sure you'll have a lovely time- it's ok that you aren't bouncing off the wall in anticipation beforehand...
Nora is wise.
Vortex, I...don't even know what to say. Fay said it pretty well, actually. I'd be furious with her. (Your mom, I mean. Silly vague pronouns.)