Jessica made about 17 grand worth of points right there.

Thanks, guys. We've decided to go ahead with the appointment. This guy was recommended by both our fertility doctor and our OB (this tool will not be my regular OB - I will see him one time only for the screening). If we get bad news, I will ask my regular OB to recommend someone else for a second opinion. It still totally sucks and depending on how we're treated, I will be letting my fertility doctor and OB know about my concerns. Here's hoping he's just a shithead and not an evil fuck.

Thanks, guys. We've decided to go ahead with the appointment. This guy was recommended by both our fertility doctor and our OB (this tool will not be my regular OB - I will see him one time only for the screening). If we get bad news, I will ask my regular OB to recommend someone else for a second opinion. It still totally sucks and depending on how we're treated, I will be letting my fertility doctor and OB know about my concerns. Here's hoping he's just a shithead and not an evil fuck.

I didn't realize this wasn't going to be your regular OB. Good luck with the appointment, and I third Jessica's point.

Glam, I would let them know anyway. Even if he treats you well, he's still taking the money of couples like you (or their insurance payouts, anyhow) and using them to fund your oppression. I don't think there's anything wrong with saying to your regular OB and fertility doc (maybe in a while, after you get the results and after you're not actively upset), "I understand he's very gifted and I personally was treated well during this consult, but this remains a concern to me; even if you continue to refer your straight patients to him, you may want to consider someone else for couples like DW and me. We found this out accidentally, through a simple online search for his address, so it's info that's out there, can easily be stumbled on by a patient, and can cause more upset and more doubts at an already fraught time."

Er, not to write a script for you or anything. But none of the medical folks I know would react at all badly to something like that, and none of them want to send their patients into situations where they know those patients are likely to feel an extra layer of discomfort on top of all the scariness of a risk-evaluation consult.

Or, there's Jessica's idea. Though, personally, I'd aim lower down.

JZ makes an excellent point. And not just about the kicking.

{{{{GC&DW&littlecookie}}}}

GC, given that this would be a one time visit, I'd go if I were in your position. But yeah, I think JZ makes a good point. It doesn't hurt for doctors to be reminded that their choices outside the office impact their ability to provide care inside it.

{{{{CookieFamily}}}} Don't hesitate to slip the stirrup and kick him upside the head if he exhibits any assholishness. Hopefully, he'll be professional.

Yeah, I'm going to mention it to both offices. My OB's office could use a bit of a cluesticking as well that not all of their patients are hetero nor married. Their paperwork asked for "Husband's name" (I crossed out Husband and inserted Spouse) and when I was leaving the office, the receptionist asked if my "husband" is Jewish (for testing purposes). I said, "I don't have a husband." Stopped her dead in her tracks and she stumbled for a sec then was fine. I think it's more a matter of cluelessness than assholery, but still.

Oh, and one other OB hetero thing was that the dr. typed on the ultrasound pic, "Hi Mom and Dad." Argh. I wouldn't want that shit on there even if I were coupled with a man.