I've been having hip trouble, sharp pain, so when I sit down I've been standing up very slowly. At a party the other day, some guy saw me getting off a couch slowly, and "helped" me up without asking, which left me in agony for hours.

What about J.R.R. Tolkien, for a revolutionary?

A couple people suggested this, but I think Tolkein would despise being called a revoltuionary.

I wanted to suggest Gary Gygax, but it's not the kind of crowd where I can do that. George Eastman, OTOH, just about right!

Happy birthday Teppy!

And by now you would think that anybody works a service job knows that if someone needs some sort of asisstance -- you ask first. Like the people that helped omnis. Partly because you can hurt someone and partly because it is rude assume

Happy birthday, Teppy!

What about J.R.R. Tolkien, for a revolutionary?

More like a reactionary.

His response to the modern world was to go back in time and espouse some very old values. (Including racial superiority.)

If I may ask, when/how is it appropriate to offer assistance to someone with crutches or mobility issues? If I someone that seems to have some issues, I usually offer an offhand "need a hand?" (wow, say that three times fast). I say it in the same way that I would to a mother struggling with a child or a person with a bunch of packages. I mostly get a "no thanks", but occasionally, I get a very frosty response. Is that me or them?

Vortex, thanks for asking, because I had been wondering the same thing.

I wouldn't be offended by a "Need a hand?" as long as the person saying it waited for me to say what exactly I needed before actually doing anything. People who try to anticipate what I need will almost always get it wrong.

I say the same thing , in the same circumstances as the mom with her hands full of kid. But in the library, where I know the awkward spaces-- I might also mention that something is hard to reach or that a space is tight. I don't get the glare often, but I think that is because of the job. I spend the whole day helping - so my offer to help is just what i do.

I think that is the basic thing: asking. I think it is almost never inappropriate to ask (probably some exceptions). It is providing the help without asking that is inappropriate. Opening a door without asking is probably OK in most cases (not all), but beyond that ask first. I would especially say anything that involves body contact requires asking.

Opening a door without asking is probably OK in most cases (not all)

I open/hold the door for everyone, regardless of gender or abledness, so I hope it's okay!