I am feeling fragile. I can't really explain it, as it's all work related, but is related to a really upsetting call last night and i wish i could have done more than i did. I'm not at any fault, i did nothing wrong, i adhered to all SOP's and rules, i did everything "right" but knowing what i do now, wish i had pushed just a little harder to follow through on gut instincts. I couldn't sleep today, and am seriously contemplating misusing prescription drugs (i.e. codeine laced cough syrup) to sleep in the near future. I don't want my current state of mind influencing my dreams. I just need to keep reminding myself that we did everything we could....it's only wishful thinking that we might have been faster and better and got a different outcome. *sigh* i need to stop following up on the news.

eta: i still love my new job. I still feel like i'm doing the right thing with my skills. I just wish i were omniscient.

Where is Lawrence of Arabia when you need him!?!

Now he'd be useful. Or, y'know, any cultural translator who can remind me that when she starts yelling, it's not personal, it's just Mediterranean.

Making progress with paper #2. Only one more week and I shall be free (except for three months of a dissertation, but that'll be like a holiday in Tenerife compared to the last few weeks).

She argues like an Israeli (given that she is one). I use avoidance and 'round the houses politeness' tactics like a Brit. Never the twain shall meet.

when she starts yelling, it's not personal, it's just Mediterranean.

coughs-to-choking I will reply on this later.

erin, I can really relate to that. I think, if I got your vibe right, that it's all about taking things personally. Too personally. And I don't think one can ever learn not to take it to the heart, but there may be methods to come to terms with it and not to sink in the Over Analyzing Pit Of Doom. Anyway, good luck.

coughs-to-choking I will reply on this later.

??? Did I offend? If so, apologies! Was just making observations that The Girl herself makes a lot...

Oh no, Seska.

It's just that as an Israeli, I guess, I have A LOT to say about it. All good.

as an Israeli, I guess, I have A LOT to say about it.

Heh. Now why doesn't that surprise me.

Three or four books to go... Would *really* like to have the reading done by today or tomorrow ('cause spending this many days without getting changed out of my pajamas is really not right).

[Real Irish wheaten bread, toasted.]

erin, I don't know what your job is, but I can relate to that. As a teacher of high-school-age kids I used to feel responsible for anything that went wrong for any of them. One Friday in my first year of teaching, one of the kids that I was a personal tutor to (I think that's like a guidance counsellor in the States) went into hospital after an overdose. I think I cried for the whole weekend. (She was fine in the end, thankfully.) Jobs where you're responsible for others are really tough. Wishing you all the best with yours.

[Real Irish wheaten bread, toasted.]

jealous

What they said, erin. I hope you were able to get some comforting rest.

They were taught not to speak directly about what they want and so a lot of them use this weird passive-aggressive shit which is MUCH more annoying than being forthright.

I swear, in my family, it's as much cultural as it is generational, because I see some of my cousins using this technique and it makes me nuts.

erin, I hope you got some rest last night.

when she starts yelling, it's not personal, it's just Mediterranean.

::SNORT:: That's FUNNY.

::SNORT:: That's FUNNY.

Not when you're sitting in the corner staring at the shouty woman, boggling, and thinking "This isn't how my passive-aggressive family handles confict", it isn't. :P

She seriously doesn't get me and my family, either. "You don't talk about anything. Ever." That's right. We're Anglo-Irish. The most we ever talk about is the weather...