Is anyone around who wants to take a look at what I've got?

In theory, at least.

Hey, [potential future wife]. I'm Sunil.

*shakes virtual hand*

I have no idea what you know about me. All I know about you is that you're an accountant, so I hope to change that.

Hm, so this is already the lamest e-mail known to man, so I guess it's all uphill from here.

How about I tell you some things you should know about me, and you do the same? About yourself, not me. Fair exchange?

1. As should be evident by now, I like making jokes. I think the world is a strange and wondrous place that should not be taken entirely seriously. I really enjoy making people laugh.

2. I love stories. TV, movies, books, comics, stories in any form. I consume media like nobody's business. Right now, I'm in the middle of watching *Deadwood* and reading *Y: The Last Man*. If you've seen my biodata, I think there's a big long list of stuff. Multiple lists, to my recollection.

3. As such, this is me:

http://xkcd.com/307/

4. I think the serial comma should always, always, always be used.

5. I really, really, really love my friends. I'm lucky to know some incredible, awesome, incredibly awesome people. I may know too many people, in fact, because some of them end up knowing each other behind my back.

Not like THAT. Geez.

6. Sometimes, I just like to take a walk and listen to music, to be outside in the world with people but without the pressure of social interaction, just me and the sidewalk and my music.

7. One of my favorite literary techniques is the use of an unreliable narrator:

http://www.qwantz.com/archive/001195.html

8. It occurs to me that since you don't know anything about me, you don't know how any of my text is supposed to come across. You can't hear my voice; you don't know the tone. I don't know you, so I don't know how you'll react to any of this. I'm just trying to be myself, and I hope that's good enough, because it's the only person I know how to be. I hope something in here makes an impression, and I wonder what kinds of things you'll tell me about yourself in return.

9. I am just as confused about and scared of this whole process our parents are putting us through as you are.

10. I have a bionic shoulder.



That last one may not be true.

All I know about you is that you're an accountant, so I hope to change that.

You hope to make her not be an accountant?

You hope to make her not be an accountant?

That was my reaction too.

"No wife of P-C's will be... doing accounting!"

Ha ha ha. So perhaps I'll reword that.

9. I am just as confused about and scared of this whole process our parents are putting us through as you are.

Is it possible she's not really scared of the process?

How much do you know about her now?

P-C if she was me I'd be so enticed. #8 made me feel a little melty.

Not like THAT. Geez.

and what's so wrong with that? As long as you want to scare off poly girls it is funny so leave it in.

I wonder if the right girl for you might be kind of naive but curious about pop culture. You could develop your relationship while introducing her to your favorite shows for the first time. If so maybe #2 is a little intimidating.

Is it possible she's not really scared of the process?

Yes. But everyone keeps telling me to keep in mind that she (in general) probably is, and it might be good not to pretend that this isn't horribly awkward.

How much do you know about her now?

That she's an accountant. Seriously, that's fucking it. And what she looks like.

If so maybe #2 is a little intimidating.

You think so? I tried not to make it sound like she has to like everything I do, but I do think loving stories is one of my more salient characteristics. That's what you're getting yourself into when you know me: all the stuff in my head.

As I was reading #2 I felt that if I wasn't a fan of all these things, I had an awful lot of catching up to do. I should note that as of 10:05 tonight I am officially on vacation and therefore I have had a cordial. I am about to dispense myself another so my advice is probably suspect.

You think so? I tried not to make it sound like she has to like everything I do, but I do think loving stories is one of my more salient characteristics. That's what you're getting yourself into when you know me: all the stuff in my head.

I think it's probably ok. Although you want to present yourself in a good light, you're still looking to make a connection, not a sale, so it's probably more of a worry to feel untrue to yourself than to scare off a particular potential wife before she has a chance to become a kinetic wife.

In that vein, though, you might decide to clarify which xkcd character you are in point 3. If she gets the wrong idea, then she could get the wrong idea.