The whole discipline/consequences thing is fascinating to me. I've always been mostly a "whatever works" type caregiver (er, absent spanking or being cruel or demeaning. Not conflating the two. I just can't do those. ) Some kids, denial of reaction works great to keep them from feeding the monster. Others, you need to get in their face to make them focus. Some are swayed by a threat, some by a goal.

I've had to whipsaw between all sorts of methods in one family.

I miss nannying.

Lillian started hitting and biting herself at about two and a half. It's hard to deal with, and the closer she gets to three, the more hair trigger her temper is. I'm told this is a known issue with toddlers.

I've started to try watch-and-wait when she starts to flip like a mammal, and it seems to be working, knock wood.

My mom said it wasn't the terrible twos, it was the evil threes. I was a demon child then. Apparently, my behavior at 12 was similar...

Mexican sounds good to me (Is the name Cocina Barro?). I'll probably get out of here sometime around 5:15-5:30. Want to meet at the restaurant?

I just get so fed up with whining. She can completely outlast all my resolutions to ignore it and wait her out. She is extremely strong-willed, but at the same time really vulnerable and, you know, four.

Three for us was a lot of deliberate rudeness and sassiness. It was sort of a preview of the teenage years, I suspect (woe). That part is mostly gone now.

ACK. Discipline convo! ACK.

Related: This weekend, we were at a friend's house. They don't have kids and like to sleep in. This is not conducive to Noah's 5 AM wake up. And K and I worked really hard at keeping baby happy and quiet for teh most part. At one point the friend was talking to Noah and said, "You know at some point your parents will learn how to say No to you" and I had to be stopped from ripping her head off. I wanted to say, "Yeah. I was a perfect parent too before I had real kids."

At one point the friend was talking to Noah and said, "You know at some point your parents will learn how to say No to you"

Ooooh....like a mammal I would have flipped.

I mean, we don't give in to every single want of Emeline's. But sometimes, saying yes can mean the difference between a good time and a really horrible time. And even if I don't want her to have something, if it means keeping her happy right then, fuck it - she gets it. Meaning like a cookie or other treat that normally she doesn't get. Not like, "oooh! A pony."

Also also ... Noah is still in total baby stage. What can you say "no" to at that age (6 months?)? Food? Dry diaper? Good heavens.

ETA: Jeebus. Almost a YEAR??? Holrey Morey!! Time has flown!

IMO there is no such thing as discipline until you're nearing 2. They genuinely do not understand cause and effect at all. Discipline is more like cleverly outwitting them and removing obstacle to cooperation before they notice them.

My mother, on the other hand, thinks I am some kind of communist for believing this, and told me my six month old was manipulating me. And she HAD kids!

Erm, hope I don't dispirit you, flea. That sounds familiar.

(12 was the thing that's been a revelation to me since, about family-peoples. After some hissy I had, my mother told me "I love you, but I don't really like you right now." It's been a sentiment I've needed to apply on occasion and I bless her for giving me the words to express and embrace the emotional turbulence.)