He must cut hair because he sure can't spell. Oshun? Because he's deep? Oy.

I'm too far away to see any captions.

And seriously - cutting hair blindfold?

They have very brave models! Oy!

I hope they let the stylists fix the cuts now, you know?

Shit, yeah! Those poor women! All of those needed fixing, just some more than others. Oshun's model needs a pixie, now.

Oshun is already annoying. So far I like Nicole, but I think I mostly like her hair.

Me, too. I think I've got a thing for guys/girls with short, blonde hair.

Yeah, a super-blonde pixie cut is always adorable. And she's young, so. I like her!

This cartoon challenge could be a major train wreck. Yay!

Why, why, why do these women agree to be models if they aren't willing to have it get fucked up? Seriously, it's hair, it GROWS. Yeesh.

So before I even get into SYTYCD, can we talk about Rene? Rowrrrr! The man is a little slice of badly accented heaven.

Now, for SYTYCD.

Kherington and Twitch - OK, several eight counts in and they haven’t even started dancing yet. And Kherington continues to smile inappropriately through the entire routine. I enjoyed it, but it wasn’t exactly what you’d call challenging. This is not better than what you would see in a moderately challenging open hip hop class at a decent studio. I didn’t hate it. But I didn’t really like it, either. She did a good job with it for the most part. Except the shoulder part which was ridiculous. Just too much posing and mugging in the routine. And Shankman brings some real critique, finally. I don’t know what kind of monkey crack the judges are smoking, but this routine was not all that. Twitch was great but both Kherington and the choreography were just fair to middlin’.

Courtney and Gev – Rhumba? Huh. I would’ve bet money they’d get hip hop this week, but nope another close hold partner dance. Oh my god! Gev’s secret is so amaaaaazing! He really did look like a tiny, very pretty little girl. These two are a miniature ball of adorable together. I am in love with this couple. Melanie gets a last name!!! And she speaks!! Finally, they recognize. So Gev’s posture and carriage are unreal, for anyone, not just for a hip hop dancer. He looks amazing in this. I thought that was so beautiful. And definitely the most technically difficult Rhumba I’ve seen on the show. (BTW, Show, get off of Dom’s jock) The wardrobe was really great as well. Loved the choreography, loved the dancing, loved them and everything about them. And I am really loving on the Shankman. Can we have him on the show every week? He talks to the dancers like they are dancers. I love it.

Cat is on fire tonight! So snarky! And she is wearing half of a wedding dress.

Chris and Comfort – Alright, let’s give Big Pasty one last chance to bring it. Damn, they brought out the picture of Comfort with the Tootie mushroom –do. That’s cold. Hmm, I normally really like Tasty doing jazz. His Pasha/Baby Oil Girl bird jazz from last season was one of my faves. This could be good. Weird. They have no intensity or fire in this piece. The choreo is really interesting, but they are both just . . . boring dancers. They’re doing the steps fine but I just . . . hmm. I wish I had liked that more and I can’t put my finger on why I didn’t. Wow, Nigel completely nailed it. No power behind the moves. The judges are so on point with their critiques on this routine. Sad for them.

Doriana? Noooo. Make it stop! Confession time, y’all. I will watch Dirty Dancing any time it’s on TV and no matter when I come into the movie, even if there’s only a minute left. And every time I watch, I try and figure out which one was Doriana. I always think I know which one it is but then I second guess myself. And then I get really sad because I look at what she’s become now and I mourn for her younger self, whichever multi-ethnic camp kid she was.

Will and Jessica – He called her Miss Sanchez. Soooo cute! Yep, he’s a total dance studio brat. OMG, the costumes are sooo much better this week. Now if only the cameraman would also step up. Seriously, Will is so good. He is really just blowing her away. You just kinda don’t watch her at all because he is fan-freaking-tastic. The whole routine was actually going pretty well until she totally biffed that death drop. But he’s so strong as a partner that they still pulled it back together. Yeah, overall that was so not good. And it was mostly her fault. Will did own it. Why are the judges giving this couple the soft sell? A little reverse psychology? Boy, I really think Shankman should just be around all the time because he is making Mary and Nigel bring real shit to say and upping the level of the commentary considerably. Once again they were on point that what draws the eye to Will, aside from his amazing (continued...)