Sorry, Captain. I'm real sorry. I shoulda kept better care of her. Usually she lets me know when something's wrong. Maybe she did, I just wasn't paying attention...

Kaylee ,'Out Of Gas'


Non-Fiction TV: I Reject Your Reality and Substitute My Own

This thread is for non-fiction TV, including but not limited to reality television (So You Think You Can Dance, Top Chef: Masters, Project Runway), documentaries (The History Channel, The Discovery Channel), and sundry (Expedition Africa, Mythbusters), et al. [NAFDA]


sj - Mar 01, 2011 4:29:00 pm PST #16246 of 23273
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."

Christian Siriano's line for Spiegel.


SuziQ - Mar 01, 2011 4:45:04 pm PST #16247 of 23273
Back tattoos of the mother is that you are absolutely right - Ame

Judas Priest song on Idol. I'm a happy girl.


Amy - Mar 01, 2011 4:48:32 pm PST #16248 of 23273
Because books.

That was awesome. He really controlled himself, too, with the screaming.

I loved "Maggie May," too.


SuziQ - Mar 01, 2011 4:53:31 pm PST #16249 of 23273
Back tattoos of the mother is that you are absolutely right - Ame

Haven't gotten there yet...but good to know it didn't get butchered.


kat perez - Mar 01, 2011 6:25:57 pm PST #16250 of 23273
"We have trust issues." Mylar

On AI: How is JLo still so beautiful on the live show? It seems unpossible. However, I must give her tiny points off because no 40 something year old woman should be rocking the half up/half down hairtstyle.

Performances thus far:

Junbug is up first. Singing Superstition. Oh, wow. Junbug. You do not have the chops for this song. He really thinks he sings much better than he actually does. And oh, he is so far off the pitch. Sharp, sharp all over. And he’s trying to funkify it and do all the R&B runs and it’s just, no. His voice has a weird nasally thing. The “hey, hey, hee-ey” scream was the best part, the end was just yowl-y crap. Let’s see if the judges call him on it. I’m sure Steven Tyler will love it. I agree with JLo that he seemed really nervous. It must be hard to go up first. Randy is and idiot, but I agree that the performance wasn’t karaoke. It wasn’t good, but it wasn’t karaoke either.

Jovany and Jordan. Oh swell. Let’s get all the hating over and done with all at once.

Jovany Barretto – Needs to go home immediately. His clip package was ass. And he broke out one of the most overused Idol songs of all times. I’ll Be? What is this, season 4? This is who he is. Nothing but muscles and cheese and a face not nearly as cute as he believes it is. His voice is so weak and non-descript. I think I’ve heard dockworkers singing in the bathroom on their break who sound better than this kid. Go home, you big headed fool. You can’t sing. JLo only put you through because you kissed Marc Antony’s ass and she kinda wants to fuck you. And only Randy brings the realness? What? It was karaoke. Sounds like the original but not as good. Exactly. There’s no "A" for effort. Did Steven Tyler just tell Randy, “Dawg, you been eating too many biscuits”? He’s wrong in this instance but I love his crazy ass.

Jordan Dorsey – Also needs to go home immediately. And to think, I used to really like this fool. But I must give him mini-props for singing a current song. Usher’s OMG. But he does know that Usher can’t really sing, right? And that this song, while a dance floor anthem, is not a singer’s song? No matter how he tries to jazz it up. And by going off the melody, he just makes it sound odd. So many key changes. Wait, make that unnecessary key changes. It was just a weird performance. Look at Steven Tyler’s face. Priceless. JLo also nails it by calling this fool out on being fake. Of course he didn’t hit the falsetto well. And then he agrees that it’s not him. So he acknowledges that he’s fake. Alright, then. You know what? I’m done with this one. Done.

Tim Halperin. Hmmm. I don’t know this song at all, so immediate points for bringing something new to the Idol stage. It’s kind of low key and it sounds like the song may be pitched a little low for him and therefore he has to do a lot of sing-talking, which I don’t enjoy. He’s just a little off the notes in some weird way that is making me uncomfortable. And the chorus kicks in and I recognize this song from, like, commercials for ABC shows or something equally cheesy. And yep, I just don’t like it. Darn it. And I really want to like him. Tell it, Steven Tyler. The song did not do him any justice. He didn’t do it well, JLo. (Note: Doin’ It Well is JLo’s best song. Discuss) He has been better. I agree with the judges. He just didn’t nail it. Bad song choice. Bad arrangement. And no, Tim Halperin. Do not defend the shoe to me and America. Bad, Tim. I hope your cute enough to pull you through to next week.

Brett Lowenstern of my heart. I wanted to hate you but you made me love you. Now bring it. Light My Fire. This is actually a really good song choice for him. The dancing is heinous and the hair flipping. Oh, it is just going all the way off the rails now, isn’t it family? The voice is good OK but the performance quality is so, so uncomfortable. Oh, it’s bad. Watch from the hall bad, y’all. Clearly, this kids is not ready for prime time. Still, on vocals alone, I think he’s probably been the best of the night so far. And JLo calls him on the hair tossing and it’s great. And I believe that he didn’t realize he was doing all the hair tossing.


SuziQ - Mar 01, 2011 6:31:00 pm PST #16251 of 23273
Back tattoos of the mother is that you are absolutely right - Ame

I completely didn't get Jordan singing a song that was "not him". Even if he had done a great job with it - is that the path he wants to be on?


quester - Mar 01, 2011 6:32:41 pm PST #16252 of 23273
Danger is my middle name, only I spell it R. u. t. h. - Tina Belcher.

kat perez I've been waiting for you to post! I love your analysis!


kat perez - Mar 01, 2011 6:55:52 pm PST #16253 of 23273
"We have trust issues." Mylar

More performers I hate:

James Durbin. Oh, great. More hating. I just do not get this kid at all. He’s not even a poor man’s Glambert. He’s just a poor man’s poor man. I suppose he’s singing whatever scream-y song he’s singing well. I didn’t hear any egregiously bad notes. Steven Tyler may not want to say it, but this kid needs to get more control. And is the blinky thing the Tourette’s? (BTW, one of his “fans” was in the audience with a Tourette’s Rocks poster already. Already! I refuse, yall!) I am a terrible person so I’m just gonna come out and say that the blinky thing is already old and I don’t enjoy. And this fool is just ugh . . . “Here with the best audience in the world” frikkin’ schmoozing personality and it just rubs me the wrong way and just no. This fool is going to hang around forever and be my worst nightmare. A sickening combo of white Stevie Wonder No Pity pandering, David Cook true artist bullshit that’s just gonna mean he sings covers of songs not normally done on this show (whether or not that’s done well) and Gokey 2.0 back story pimping now that Medina’s gone. He’s going to the finale, isn’t he? Sigh.

Robbie Rosen. The big muppet head and the nose. Oh, god. I’m tired. This is only half? I’m so tired. How can I be this tired already? Sarah McLaughlin? The weirdest arrangement of this song I’ve heard in a while. This is a strange, strange song choice. And putting all these weird runs in is ruining it. The beauty of this song lays in it’s purity. That melody is gorgeous. Just shut up and sing it straight. Sigh. Young kids. Just because you can do all those runs doesn’t mean that you should. He sang it OK (although there were some missed notes) and still I hated it. No, JLo. All the notes really do need to be perfectly perfect despite the fact that your entire career may say otherwise. How is it that I’m agreeing with the Dawg tonight? How is that happening? Something is wrong with the universe. Very, very wrong. Dammit, do not make me agree with Randy. See this? This is why I'm so tired.

And now performers I like:

Scotty McCreary – You are a grown ass man. Stop letting people call you Scotty. He can be a huge, huge country star. Trust and believe. He can’t win this show, but it kind of doesn’t even matter. The Pickle, Josh Gracin, Bucky Covington. Shoot, lots of country singers from this show didn’t win and have still gone on to have solid country careers and he could do the same. And I love this song, Letter from Home. Great, great song choice. He sung it really well. And Steven Tyler is right. He just couldn’t have picked a better song. And JLo is right, too. This kid was born to sing country music. And the Dawg is right, too. He’s a throwback country kid, not a country pop crossover kid like La Underwood. Which makes me even more mystified why they put him on this show where there will be only one country theme night. This kid on R&B night? Disco night? Songs Gwen Stefani likes or whatever lame ass themes they pull out of their asses? Oh, it’s not going to be pretty.

Stefano Langone – Is a cutie patootie. I wanna just eat him up. Too bad his voice is just not really up to snuff. Again, props for picking an of the minute song. Amazing by B.o.B. Sadly for him, the Glee kids did it better and when Finn can outsing you? You got troubles. His performance was not on point, even though he’s really really trying to sell it. The judges may try to soft pedal the pitch problems and I agree that he makes you want to like him, but that’s not enough to win this show. I think he’s doing enough to get through to the top 10, and he definitely got better as the song went on, but he’s not special enough. He’s a total redshirt. He even dressed the part.

And now for performers I like but then dislike:

Paul McDonald – Singing Maggie May again. I liked the snippet of it that I saw during the audition rounds and I like it here, too. He has such an interesting voice. It could be annoying, but miraculously, it’s not. I really, really enjoy this fool. I enjoy the herky-jerky dancing. I like the skinny, man in black look. I love the smile and he’s totally engaging and seems authentic up there. And most importantly, he sang so, so pretty. I’m flabbergasted. Flabbergasted at how well he’s done. He made me believe that he might actually be able to do something in this competition. Huh. He needs to lay off the self tanner, though. Like the judges, I, too, am a fan. Damn, he’s as red-orange as Ryan. Seriously, lay off the self tanner.

Jacob Lusk – Is too much and not enough all at the same time. How did I know he’d sing Luther? And he is so far off the melody on the very first notes of A House Is not a Home. And I do not like this song all tenor fabulous. It just doesn’t sit well in this range. He is playing with the melody in ways I don’t like. His church home would give him a sniff and polite applause after that one. They might stand up, but behind their fans they’d be talking about how off he was and oh, wasn’t it so sad and usually that baby has a voice touched by god and maybe he’s sick, you know I heard he had AIDS, what?, girl yes, no, yes, ummm, what a shame, well he has sounded better, sister. That’s what would happen. He needs to go back and listen to Jimmy IV again and remember what he said about simplicity and . . . I don’t know, try again. Judges are on that monkey crack with this one.


kat perez - Mar 01, 2011 7:41:08 pm PST #16254 of 23273
"We have trust issues." Mylar

Final performer I liked and then summary judgement!

Casey Abrams – I Put a Spell on You. Wow. I kind of love this kid in every way that one can love. He just makes me smile. This is not his best vocal ever, but I just don’t care. Who would pick this song? This kid, that's who. I am in love with this nerdy white kid doing this funky voodoo soul classic. And the “You’re mine” at the end? Stop it. Just stop it. He had pitch problems all up, down, over and around that song. Vocally, it wasn’t all that good. But man, was it entertaining. Good use of the pimp slot. I would vote for this kids if I voted.

Loved:

Paul – Best of the night, both vocally and performance wise

Casey – Great performance, only so-so vocal

Liked:

Brett – Clean vocal, really uncomfortable performance

Scotty – Great vocal, good performance, too one dimensional to win this show

Meh:

Junbug – Went first, vocal was only so-so, kind of bland peformance. All over forgettable

Tim – Absolutely dreadful song choice and bad vocal but he’s likeable so I think he’ll make it through

Stefano – Decent but not great vocal (which is kind of his thing) but again he’s likeable and cute as a button which at this stage should be enough

Hated:

Jovany – Boring, (not even all that) pretty boy who can’t sing well

Jordan – Terrible song choice, terrible vocal, laughably bad performance and the dancing. Also, he’s come off as a bitch this whole time, so yeah. He’s toast.

James - Vocally, he was good but I just straight up hate him

Robbie – Again, not the worst vocally. But far from the best. And I just straight up don’t like him

Jacob – So many missed notes, so much oversinging, so much ado about nothing

Going Home

Jordan will definitely go home. If god loved me, James would go home but ain’t no way he’s leaving this week. Could be Junbug for going first and being boring about it or Jovany for being boring and singing a tired ass song tiredly. Might be Tim in a shocker for singing the absolute worst song for him that he possibly could have and then being awkward throughout the entire performance and then trying to piss on America’s leg and tell us it’s raining. I would also take Jacob, but after the judge pimping, ain’t no way. They will get their contractually obligated Chikeze Eze Memorial Pumpkin Pimp slot (also known as the black man’s spot) filled.

ETA: So I totally was not knowing how this show worked this season. They're cutting down to top 10 this week? Woah, harsh. Well, in that case, I'll go with Paul, Casey, James (bleagh), Scotty and probably Brett. And the judges will put Jacob through due to the aforementioned Chikeze Eze Memorial Pumpkin Pimp clause.


flea - Mar 02, 2011 2:39:03 am PST #16255 of 23273
information libertarian

Okay, while Paul McDonald can sing, and actually seems to be a musician, which is a huge advantage on this show, the whole mega-tooth-whitened hipster thing is annoying me. Also he sort of reminds me of Joe Cocker, and not in a good way.