Let him do his thing, and then you get him out. No messing with him for laughs.

Mal ,'Ariel'


Non-Fiction TV: I Reject Your Reality and Substitute My Own

This thread is for non-fiction TV, including but not limited to reality television (So You Think You Can Dance, Top Chef: Masters, Project Runway), documentaries (The History Channel, The Discovery Channel), and sundry (Expedition Africa, Mythbusters), et al. [NAFDA]


Jessica - Mar 01, 2010 10:33:10 am PST #12919 of 23273
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset

As much as I dislike Randy, I definitely think the Villians should've gotten rid of Parvati.

Agreed, but as a viewer I'm SO glad to see Randy gone. As I've said before - he's not a villain, just an asshole.


megan walker - Mar 01, 2010 7:29:08 pm PST #12920 of 23273
"What kind of magical sunshine and lollipop world do you live in? Because you need to be medicated."-SFist

I think I just need to accept that every episode of Undercover Boss is going to make me tear up.


megan walker - Mar 02, 2010 4:45:22 pm PST #12921 of 23273
"What kind of magical sunshine and lollipop world do you live in? Because you need to be medicated."-SFist

It's only the second week and I'm not sure I can stick with American Idol. The guys sound better tonight (I guess), but the song choices were awful.

Still love Ellen.


kat perez - Mar 02, 2010 6:16:01 pm PST #12922 of 23273
"We have trust issues." Mylar

AI is on my last nerve, for real. OK, I railed against FP getting a medical pass on SYTYCD, so as much as I love Mamasox, I gotta say the same thing here. Play or go home. I dislike the flipping of boys for girls. I'm sorry she is so sick. They should let her come back in next year at the top 12. But it's not fair for the remaining girls or guys to have to flip because she's sick.

This Is a Man's World/Big Mike - Hate this song choice. It is the most non-song song of all times. He sounds good on it, but I hate, hate, hate this choice in every way I possibly can. You shouldn't sing this unless you are Mary J. smacking it up, flipping it, and rubbing it down. This was just boringly competent (like always with this one). The judges were way, way, way over the top in their praise. It was fine for what it was . . . a second rate impersonation or a second tier JB cut.


kat perez - Mar 02, 2010 6:23:57 pm PST #12923 of 23273
"We have trust issues." Mylar

Gravity/John Park - Can it be worse than last week? Well, singing John Mayer is not a great start. Do you really want to bring up the Playboy Interview controversy? I don't think so. And yick, this kid is flat, always a couple of ticks under the pitch, no? Not totally off, which is even worse because you can hear the note he was supposed to be hitting but not. And he doesn't have as much soul in his voice as John Mayer. And that is saying a lot about how much soul he lacks. Yeah, this fool is pretty, but he can go any time now. It's bad when the best the judges can say is that it was way better than last week since last week was abysmal.

I Don't Want to Be/Cowboy Casey - I enjoy this kid. I dislike this song. Oooh. Dilemma. Initially, I thought he'd do well with it, for what it's worth. But ewww. He started out all nasally up in his nasal. And then it just got worse and worse. The chorus on this song is so tricky. It's deceptively rangy and he was way off the pitch in the low notes. Well, this song kicked his ass. That was unexpected. And the Dawg wasted his judgery trying to sound edumacated about the music industry. I agreed with Ellen that he was stiff behind that guitar. Judge #4 gave some real and relevant critiques. My world is all asunder.

Boy Unworthy to Wear the Last Name "Lambert"/Everybody Knows - He still can't sing. He still believes he has a great falsetto which he demonstrably does not. Please take your ugly mullet and your white keds and your too tight, too shiny pants with plaid jacket and just what the fuck and go. So much hate. I don't think I could hate him any more than I do. And to think we lost the cutie rocker for this fool. And is unique style some kind of code for got dressed in the dark? And Judge #4 should know that I'm not rooting for this kid. At all.

Il Divo/What's Love Got to Do With It -Aww, poor you? You really think Paula "sang" while she was dancing? You hold up Paula as an artist to emulate? Oh no, baby. No. And this kid has listened to waaayyy too much 99.8 KKBT, the Beat. Not every song is a run filled, R&B fiesta. But the really sad thing is that this kid does not have a bad voice. Actually, he has a very good voice. But why does he feel the need to cram every single vocal trick into a song. Good god, this fool is making me agree with the Dawg. Just get up and sing it straight. Simon's right. He needs to go back to dancing because he's wrong on every level for this show.

Jermaine Sellers/What's Going On? - OK, you want to sound current so you pick a 70's soul protest song? And then you sing it flat and under the pitch? Hmmm. Let me see. Young, current, hip, radio ready? Hell to the naw. And the voice is nails on a chalk board. He never found the notes. And once again way too many vocal gymnastics. And once again, Judge #4 says something relevant. What the hell? And this kid doesn't get it. God is in the tub. Oh, also, church singers can actually blow. You can't. Despite what your podunk, corner church might have told you. Every black church has that kid who grew up in the choir and had a lovely instrument before puberty hit and the voice changed and now he has some of the tools and tricks he learned from the choir director and he can kind of sing and the old ladies cluck cluck over him, "Baaabbbyy. You just have such a beautiful voice. Beautiful. Gawd has touched you, for sure." Don't believe it. That is true only within the confines of said podunk corner church.

Andrew Garcia/You Give Me Something - Oh my heavens. I didn't think I could love this little cholo kid any more than I do, but now that I know this chubby kid can bust a move? I love him even more! This ex-banger is magic. He must lose the scarf, though. And truth? Kid can blow. The first part of the song was hot. He kind of fell apart on the chorus, there. Got off the note and he never really found it again. The back half of that song was a hot mess. And still, like Ellen, I love this kid. He's one of the few with natural charisma and star power.

D'Archie 2.0/My Girl - OK, why would you do a Temptations song before Motown Week? It's a guaranteed cheese fest. And he's doing the vibrato filled, country fried version? Well, he's on pitch, which is more than I can say for the vast majority of tonight's contestants. So there's that, right? Sigh. But now what's he gonna do during Motown Week? (Cause this kid is so making top 12) Simon is once again the only one telling the truth. This kid was corny tonight, but he's got a decent voice and he could be better than he is.

Come On Get High/Crappy Replacement Boy - Another quasi-mullet, bowl cut dude. White boys of America, what the fuck on the haircuts? Was there a fire sale on Flowbees somewhere? This kid is the most milquetoast, bland kid I've ever seen. Does anything about him say star? Does anything about him even say High School Talent Show contest winner? Good grief. Bleagh. He's a non-entity.

Lee Dewyze/Lips of an Angel - Take off that hat, Mr. Nice Guy. I kind of, sort of like this kid. He seems genuine. But the song. Oh, no, the song. What happened? Nickelback couldn't clear? I hate this frikkin' song. And he's under the pitch. Again. Is there something going on with the audio in the studio? Because almost every single contestant has been under. And let me just state for the record, not being on pitch does, in fact, matter. It matters a lot in a singing competition to be on pitch.


kat perez - Mar 02, 2010 8:05:16 pm PST #12924 of 23273
"We have trust issues." Mylar

Thank you, Buffistas, for providing such a lovely space to share my pain. I wish I could write this off as these boys not being prepared to go tonight, but honestly? They were this bad last week, too. Feh. I love AI more than a pickpocket loves an unattended wallet and I'll never quit this show, but they are seriously making it hard on a sister this year. The girls had better use their extra day and kill it tomorrow. That's all I have to say.


Sassy - Mar 02, 2010 8:43:23 pm PST #12925 of 23273
'Til we dance away...

Gah. No kidding. I remember when TWoP had the American Idol "Loud is the new Good" tshirt. What's this season? Weak is the new good? The majority of them can't even sing loud, much less anything else.


Jessica - Mar 03, 2010 4:01:13 am PST #12926 of 23273
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset

My cousin - the next Food Network star? Hungry Like The Jones.

(He may have to work on his knife skills.)


flea - Mar 03, 2010 5:12:33 am PST #12927 of 23273
information libertarian

Just watched AI and I'm ready for the top 10 now - can we skip to that? My top 5 boys are easy picks: Big Mike, Cowboy Casey, Andrew Garcia, Baby 16 Year Old, and Gravel Voice With Hat And Droopy Pants. I don't need to hear the others any more. And even of my top 5, I'm only interested in 3 of 'em.


le nubian - Mar 03, 2010 7:08:49 am PST #12928 of 23273
"And to be clear, I am the hell. And the high water."

I'm with flea pretty much. Though I would put Mr. Onesy in there for entertainment value. That fool is pure DIVA. Make no mistake.

Sepinwall said this about last night in part -

"And the judges aren't invested in any of them, giving them conflicting advice from week-to-week"

I agree with this.