So sorry, sj. Such a fucking... I don't even know what to call it.

Thanks, JenP. I don’t know what to call it either. TCG was asking the other day what happens to people who can’t advocate for themselves and don’t have people in their life that can advocate for them and the only answer I can come up with is “they die”.

In good news I have a virtual appointment set up for Wednesday. So, I may be heading to the end of this mess.

OK, I accidentally just stole someone's lunch.

Put my drinks on the wrong tray and off I walked...

There's really no way to switch it since I brought it back to my desk so I'll just go ahead and eat wrong lunch?

It feels like I should somehow "fix this!" though.

I think mostly what happens is they don't get things.

Trudy, is there an office bulletin board or casual group chat where you can post "to the owner of the mysteriously switched lunch tray, my apologies. It is now your turn to surprise someone with a lunch switcheroo. Pay it forward!"

It's Passover today, which is a holiday that I normally really love. I still love it, but it is of course harder to celebrate this year. Each year I edit a haggadah (heavily edited, and adding many secular and humanist interpretations to the idea that we are free people to make our own choices in this world, and that we are obligated to behave in that manner). I will be in a very small family Seder instead of the traditional friends Seder, as it is dangerous to drive with all of the missiles and sirens.

This is one of the texts I added this year, by Merav Roth. She's a psychologist and psychoanalyst who specializes in traumatic grief and is one of the people who are leading the response team by mental health professionals since Oct. 7th:

"Reality needs us – to remember and remind all of this, to mourn all the beauty that is corrupted by us, humans, but not to let the reality that comes from outside overwhelm us. There is no negotiation that I can have with the next missile. There is a negotiation that I can have with myself about expanding my perspective beyond it – to what is indeed under my control [...] The harder our reality is – the more it needs us. The more God is hidden from us – we are more entrusted with the good and the beautiful in his world. We need to help the world look different. To strive against what we do not see and to cultivate what is important to us. A reality of war is very contagious and dangerous in that for all of us – hatred is contagious, fear is contagious, the false division into a world of absolute evil and absolute good infects us with vengeful and violent worldviews [...] This is the defeat that we must not accept. [...]

Reality needs us, to be fully present, attentive, aware of the dangers and refusing to be infected with all these difficult materials of life. [...] Reality needs us – to provide an alternative. We are entrusted with the good and the beautiful in our world, always, and today more than ever."

Wise words, Shir.

For the first time in some years, I don't have any friends nearby who are hosting Seder. As I think I've mentioned here before, I was not born Jewish and I have no particular desire to convert, but all my life I have had enough Jewish folks (both religiously and culturally) in my immediate orbit that I could faintly feel the rhythm of the Hebrew calendar in my day-to-day life. I miss that connection now.

(I was going to post something here about my early-childhood crush on my next-door neighbour, but I burst into tears halfway through it; I'm not sure that story is ready to come out yet.)

In any case, those of you who are gathering for Passover, hold your loved ones close and know that I am thinking of you.

Thank you for sharing those beautiful passages, Shir. May this Passover bring peace and joy to you and yours.

Thank you for sharing that with us, Shir

Trudy, is there an office bulletin board or casual group chat where you can post "to the owner of the mysteriously switched lunch tray, my apologies. It is now your turn to surprise someone with a lunch switcheroo. Pay it forward!"

Ha!