Hello, all. Just catching up here after a very busy week. We always host a big chosen family Thanksgiving at our place, but since ND is always in tech for A Christmas Carol and stays down in Irvine from Friday night on, it's mostly me. For the past 8-9 years, my mom has come out from Connecticut and been my cheerful sous chef and co-prepper, but because her kitty got sick (kitty is doing fine now), she couldn't come this year. It hit me hard. Prepping for Thanksgiving alone is very hard and rather depressing, and I think some of it also is the aftermath of feeling the passage of time. This is my second Thanksgiving and Christmas and Dad's birthday without him, and that makes me worry about missing any time with my mom. However, friends made things easier — I had a couple friends come by and hang out with me while he was gone, and ND was able to come home Sunday night so he could help me with the grocery shopping on Monday before driving back down Monday night. Thursday morning, ND and I cleaned the heck out of the house while I finished food prep, and we were ready by the time people arrived. We usually have between 10-20 people; this year, we were supposed to have 12, but three people dropped out unexpectedly, so we ended up with nine total. Good thing everyone took home a lot of leftovers!!!

In terms of what I cook, I do the Alton Brown turkey (though I love that he just dropped this update video; I did, indeed, truss my turkey this year), gravy, a fancied up Trader Joe's cornbread stuffing (I add celery, onion, apple, and dried cranberries), a homemade cranberry sauce, mashed sweet potatoes with butter and a touch of brown sugar, an apple-pear pie, and my favorite pumpkin pie recipe, which includes dried, sugared cranberries and pie crust cookies with cinnamon sugar cut into leaves. Everything except the turkey and gravy is vegan (except the pumpkin pie, which is vegetarian). Our friends brought DELICIOUS roasted veggies, mashed potatoes, more appetizers than I can list, and extra dessert, including a homemade guava cheesecake. Everything was delicious. A few of us went for a hike up the fire road and then sat around and laughed and chatted. Even without my mom there, it was a warm, loving chosen family gathering, as always. I never regret the work it takes to make it happen.

Pix, that sounds delightful! And now I want to try guava cheesecake!

Sometimes a rabbit hole takes you in an unexpectedly personal direction.

FB prompted me with a "You May Know This Person" for a woman I didn't know. But I could see that she was friends with some of JZ's friends at Vassar, and she mentioned going to school there so I thought they might have overlapped. (I think they did.)

I clicked through her pix and saw that she was a professional singer who did classical choral work but also was in musicals, and had a long career. Then she had a post noting the 5th anniversary of her husband's death after a 27 year long marriage and referred back their 90s alt-rock band, Velvet Chain.

So I checked to see if they had any albums out on Discogs and they did, including something called "The Buffy E.P." Huh. So I checked to see what compilations they had appeared on and...they're on the Buffy soundtrack album that most of us have! The one with Rasputina and The Sundays cover of "Wild Horses" and Christophe Beck's "Close Your Eyes."

"Strong" by Velvet Chain, written by her and her husband: [link]

I'm surprised you hadn't run into each other, Hecubus.(When I get a You May Know....it's weird how bad they always are, like, I don't care how ordinal the math is, no, I'm not following the crazy skank J. left the family for, even if he's now over her too.) At least that seems to be proof we are holding off robot overlords for a while longer.

Oh, damn damn damn. Tom Stoppard has left us. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead was the first play my mother and I read together, and I have her nearly-complete shelf of his plays sitting right in front of me.

We read Jumpers together very soon after acquiring it at City Lights Books, and saw Arcadia together at the American Conservatory Theatre in SF. I did a reading from The Real Thing for a theatre class at Sac State in 1989, and one of my classmates said, "I'm not sure I've ever seen you that impassioned about anything before."

Shakespeare, Shaw, Stoppard, Pinter. These were the four stars I navigated by in my young adulthood. Thank you, Mr Stoppard, for your words and your life. You will be missed so, so much.

I'm sad to admit, that though I did like Shakespeare In Love very much, I'm not familiar with his work otherwise. Much like Mamet(Which I pronounced like the soap for about half my life,) his has been a name I know to know without really understanding a lot behind it because I went to journalism school and learned not to have anyone buy me anything and, wow, are they not--maybe I paid a little too much attention sometimes. ETA: Not that I am dying to be Dollar Store Nuzzi Has A Terrible Accident(They really covered "Hands in New Places" too, I swear.

Of the shows I've designed, Indian Ink by Stoppard, which had to have been nearly 20 years ago, is still one of my favorites. Hell, I named my cats after R&G (Rosie and Gilda).

Love reading Natter and just caught up on the posts finally after being 3k posts behind up until last week. Since I quit FB and Insta for a while, I’m glad I can still catch up with people here a bit although I read far more than I post. I feel a little self-conscious jumping in without meara-ing but I usually ready 1-2k posts in sittings over a few weeks and by the time I’ve gotten to the end of them, a meara seems pointless because it’s weeks after whatever has happened has happened.

TL;DR I read every word (and care about y’all) even if I don’t comment!

Pix, I’m so sorry to hear your mom couldn’t make the trip. Glad to know her cat is okay tho.

I had long been planning to be out of the country for Thanksgiving but the last few trips I’ve had have been nightmares coming and going thanks to airport and airplane shenanigans so at the last minute I decided to have a staycation this week. It’s been glorious. I’ve gotten a ton of stuff done, including setting up my home gym downstairs (nothing fancy - the elliptical I bought from the previous home owners, and a nice bench and weights) and a freeze dryer. But more than anything I made the downstairs a place I don’t HATE anymore with new storage space and a couple of coats of paint.

Thanksgiving was delightful since I was lucky enough to be included in Jess and Ethan’s family Thanksgiving. Like you, Pix, Jess expected more people. But in the end it was J&E and the “kids” (A is in high school and D is in college). And let me tell you, what a delicious night that was! Fantastic meal and really nice conversation.

Then Friday, Vortex and I met half way for lunch (and post lunch coffee) and it reminded me that we need to see a lot more of each other! And so in 2026 I’ll be headed to Hartford, you can count on it.

Nilly, so sorry to hear of the loss of your mom. May her memory be a blessing.

java, that sounds like an excellent staycation, and with bonus F2Fs!

Pix, I know your found family and friends Thanksgivings must be so lovely and appreciated--awesome of you guys to do that.

I am on my last day here at my sister's--just packing up now. It's been super low key and fun, and DH has gotten more family time with his family than I've ever seen him do, and, while exhausting, I think he really enjoyed it. I spent some time with them, too, and that was nice.

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My deepest condolences to you and your family for the loss of your mother, Nilly. May her memory bring you comfort.

Oh, Nilly, I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending love and light to you and all your Mom’s loved ones.