I also recommend a place called Queen of Tarts, [link] which is central and easy to find, for dining, and a shop (wovens and take-away food) called Avoca [link] .

So remember how they tricked my grandmother into a nursing home? She's having a great time! AS I'VE BEEN SAYING FOR YEARS. She was isolated in her house for like 15 years, and now she has a boyfriend (!!!).

Can we younger people remember that communal living can be great? I wish she had gone into assisted living so many years ago.

So remember how they tricked my grandmother into a nursing home? She's having a great time! AS I'VE BEEN SAYING FOR YEARS.

God, I wish we could get Tim's dad into assisted living. He'd be so much happier. He is SO isolated in his house. He doesn't even have neighbors close by. He's a total extrovert, and would be so much happier with people around. Gah.

Let's try to stick around to remind each other as becomes necessary.

We are having a Thanksgiving potluck next Wednesday. At least it isn't the same week as Thanksgiving. Wouldn't it make more sense to have it after and, like, trade leftovers? But after Thanksgiving is Outlet Sale and Xmas decorations, I guess. Still, maybe I will suggest that for our December department meeting. Sort of a White Elephant potluck.

My mother will tell you that one reason she pushed for moving to the retirement community is because if she died first my father would never leave the house, but there he'd always have someone to eat dinner with - the ladies would be all over him because he has pretty blue eyes and a full head of hair in his 80s. There he plays pool and chess and makes clay flutes. Bizarro Dad.

Sox, you can do it!

Today is our teacher-parent conference. Like many children, when I ask my kid how school was she'll say, "Fine." This year, however, she has a girl in her class who I've pegged as most likely to be Student Body President, and if I ask D what K is doing in class, I get a full run down. It's hilarious when there are 3-4 of us lined up at soccer practice to talk to D about our kid.

God, I wish we could get Tim's dad into assisted living. He'd be so much happier. He is SO isolated in his house. He doesn't even have neighbors close by. He's a total extrovert, and would be so much happier with people around. Gah.

Ugh, right? With my grandmother, it was a real progression that made it necessary -- she fell and moved in with my uncle after that, and then her dementia was just too much for them to deal with. I genuinely don't understand why some people are so resistant.

Went to the vet, and when they had Hazel in the back to take blood, you really would have thought they were torturing her with the screams and yowls. So sad! But when the tech brought her back out, she said she was actually fine, just "opinionated." Heh.

I genuinely don't understand why some people are so resistant

Proof that they've lost their independence, that they're on the last slope, this is the place where they're going to die--or be wheeled out so they can die in a hospital. "The waiting room to heaven"--or hell, depending on your relative's worldview.

Rather like "we sent the dog to a farm so he could play with other puppies."

What Connie said.

My mother had worked at a horrible nursing home in the 1970s, the kind of place where the residents were dumped by their families and the whole place smelled of urine and bleach. It was awful, and she made my father promise never to put her in a nursing home.

And you know, he didn't. But to her mind, the assisted living facility was close enough. And it meant she was going to die, and she was terrified. I would not wish my mother's last six months on anyone: she was terrified and miserable and made my father's life a living hell. But she was a special case, and not everyone is going to react like that.

Proof that they've lost their independence,

I guess that's the base thing I don't get -- I don't quite believe in independence! Not when it is isolating and difficult. I mean, my other grandmother lived "on her own" until she died -- downstairs from my parents! So when she fell and broke her arm, there was someone to take her to the hospital.

My mother had worked at a horrible nursing home in the 1970s, the kind of place where the residents were dumped by their families and the whole place smelled of urine and bleach. It was awful, and she made my father promise never to put her in a nursing home.

Those places definitely still exist, and that is not what I'm talking about.

Those places definitely still exist, and that is not what I'm talking about.

Oh, sure. But the fear engendered by those places made her think that all residential facilities were like that.