Can I say "ugh"? I just want to say "ugh."

Ugh.

There, I feel better now.

msbelle, I'm so sorry he's being difficult. You are a fabulous mom--the pinkest even--and I wish that things end up on an even keel sooner rather than later.

Woo hoo, reduction!

Yeah 14-16 apparently just sucks wrt parental relations. Internet is getting turned off at our house at 7:30 until further notice. I'll turn I back on once he is in the shower and his phone is in living room getting charged. I want so badly for him to be responsible, but it is not yet in the cards wrt time, electronics, or money.

I'm sorry msbelle. And, yeah, I remember being difficult in those ages and I was a relatively easy kid overall. The steps you are taking sound helpful.

I really need to get back to watching my diet, but I also feel like it is time to change my, like, dietary foundation. I've been more or less low carb for three years, time for something different. I might just straight up calorie count.

All the fried things sounds awfully good, though.

It snowed on me in the parking lot. Winter is here.

We're supposed to get up to 73 today, which is about 20 degrees above the normal high this time of year. I'm not complaining, though. I am taking walks in shorts and enjoying every single degree.

it propelled me back to counting calories.

I gained depression weight over the summer (plus probably weight from the steroid munchies when I had that respiratory infection recently). But I didn't really realize it until mid-October, when the weather switched from shorts weather to jeans weather. See, since I work from home, I wear comfy shorts, yoga pants, or flowy hippie skirts when it's warm. And those are very forgiving of weight gain. Jeans, not so much.

So I started tracking my food last week. The first week was REALLY hard, because I was physically and mentally used to eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted it, and apparently it was a LOT. So I was STARVING, and convinced that it would be impossible to stay within my calorie range (which, for the record is pretty damn high, since I'm already a big fat panda -- meaning, it shouldn't be hard to stay within that range).

But this week it's much easier. And what I remember from back in the day when I did Weight Watchers is that the first week is horrible. It's like -- I will NEVER get to eat what I like EVER again! Oh god, I am STARVING I CANNOT DO THIS! But then in the second week, I think there's a mental adjustment and my body realizes that, yeah, this is plenty of food, so okay.

I don't have much of a goal, other than losing the summer depression weight. And we don't even own a scale, so I'm just tracking my food and going by how those jeans fit.

I'm sorry, msbelle. I remember so well trying so hard to have some excuse to reward instead of always having to take away. Really, just do what you are supposed to do and life is so much grander, kiddo. I'd like to say mine figured it out, but not so much.

Heh, we have a high of 70 today and I'm all, get out the sweaters!

I haven't weighed myself in months, but judging by how my clothes fit, I've gained. I should probably weigh myself before I start whatever I do to reduce because I do find that initial weight drop very satisfying.

So, I think I hurt myself yesterday. Coloring in a coloring book.

Getting old sucks.

(Okay, raking leaves may have contributed, but I really think it was the coloring.)

My calorie goal is less than 1300 a day. If I can ever compel myself to exercise I might increase that to 1500. The tiny little things I do to cut calories:

Regular coffee instead of latte - coconut milk or skim only no sweeteners
No cheese on breakfast sandwich
Remove one piece of bread from breakfast sandwich
Giant salad at least once a day, at least 3 cups of greens.
Lara bars eaten as 2 snacks, not inhaled at once.
No creamy salad dressings
Mustard instead of ketchup or mayo
Only 1 glass of wine at night.

After a week or two if these relatively small adjustments then I can move to bigger things like not eatting out so much or buying frozen.

Usually by week 2 I am in a groove. The trick is how long it holds. A few weeks or a couple of months. And then how bad and long the backslide is. This last time, I only went about 3 weeks of not tracking calories and I think I kept intake on average btw 1500-1800 calories a day, not back to where my average was more like 2200.

So, I think I hurt myself yesterday. Coloring in a coloring book.

That's hardcore coloring.