[link]

Bungalow court, with floor plans!

I love the things, but they're rarer and rarer these days.

Crap. The morning has started out with my fix not working in a real environment and then I forgot to take my phone with me to a meeting and missed my wife's phone call. When I called back after the meeting she said she was too pissed about me missing the call to talk to me. Why do I keep making mistakes?

Ugh, what a terrible Friday.

When I called back after the meeting she said she was too pissed about me missing the call to talk to me. Why do I keep making mistakes?

Gud, unless something was literally exploding and she needed your help right that second, you didn't make a mistake. You have a job. The people who pay you would like you to do that job, which includes meetings.

I feel like you mentioned a while ago that your wife was depressed, or getting treatment. Is that the case? If not, it might be something to consider, because it sounds like both your lives might be improved. And believe me, I know it can be difficult. I've been going to therapy for several months, and I kind of hate it, because it's hard. But it's also necessary for me.

I just hate to see you so unhappy.

When I called back after the meeting she said she was too pissed about me missing the call to talk to me. Why do I keep making mistakes?

Gud, I don't want to disparage your wife here, but -- you were in a meeting. Unless there's a serious medical or other emergency, it seems unreasonable to expect a spouse to take a call in a meeting. Your job is important, not just to you, but to your whole family (your wife included, obviously), and there are times when you need to focus on it.

It's an unreasonable standard to classify "not answering a non-emergency phone call in a work meeting" as a mistake.

Are *you* allowed to be pissed at *her*? Because I'd be pissed at her for setting unreasonable standards that could put your employment at risk. Unless she doesn't need your income, she shouldn't be doing that.

[Note: the previous message does not stand if there was a genuine medical/life-threatening emergency. I'm not a total monster.]

(Or, What Dana Said.)

I'm sorry, Gud. I hope you (and the people around you) can make peace with your non-infallibility.

I'd also say that for me, worrying about making a mistake often leads to making a mistake. It's an ugly self-fulfilling cycle.

To put it bluntly Gud, the only mistake I think you're making is putting up with all this shit from your wife. She needs to pack up all her unreasonable disapproval of and anger at you and seek professional psychiatric help.

What Matt said. What she is doing is causing you harm, and cannot be good for her, either.

Matt's right. This sounds like abusive behavior on her part, not a mistake on your part.