I talked to my brother this morning. He says that part of what was going on was a very bad depression black hole, where he didn't get out of bed or leave the apartment for 36 hours. He totally admitted that he drank, but said he only had 4 airline bottles of vodka (basically a shot apiece).
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I'm amused that I blithely used the word "only", as if 4 shots of vodka is no big deal. Dysfunction FTW.
Aside from the fact that he shouldn't be drinking, period, that amount is not nearly as bad as I thought. He also sounded much better today, and he said that the way he feels today is night and day compared to yesterday.
I told him I was worried because his wife is out of the country and all his friends leave today for the retreat and I thought he needed to not be alone and I would fly out there. He said that he doesn't want anyone to come out there right now, but that he'll let me know right away if things get worse and he needs me to come out there.
That's not my preference, obviously; I'd rather go out there now. But this is a fine line. He's an autonomous adult, and even though I'm worried about him, I have to respect his wishes.
So for now I'm not going. But I have my plan on standby.
Oh, Teppy, what a roller coaster. I have done that dance more times than I care to count. The feelings of powerlessness and worry and love and rage are so overwhelming. Sounds like you have the right distance and understanding of this, though. I wish strength to your whole family.
Will he call if there's a problem?
He will, yeah. He knows that this is serious, but he's trying to deal with it on his own. He's not pretending it isn't serious, but he currently believes that he doesn't need help.
Sending lots of strength and support, Steph
I wonder if it's worth planning a trip in a few weeks, just because? I mean, on the assumption that he will be fine and you'll have a good time together, but... just in case.
Man, I just about went over the counter at a convenience store clerk after he went on a long mocking riff about gay people and men acting like women with another customer. This may have been the first time he got called out about that by a 235 lb. man red-faced with anger and ready to knock teeth down his throat.
What a WTF moment, Matt. I get that some folks have socially retrograde opinions. I do not get how they think it's okay to share them in public.
He thought he had the store to himself and the old bigot grumbling about queers parking at the local lake until I slammed my drink down on the counter. But at least he did apologize for offending me after offering excuses about joking like that with his gay relatives all the time. Maybe seeing how close he came to a beatdown will make him consider that said relatives might not find the jokes as funny as he assumes.
