Funerals really are a buttload of emotional work, along with just the planning and wrangling.

I always have to amend my rant with this: I know that people want to pay their respects and they're doing it out of kindness. I'm not *so* feral that I think they're doing something horrible by following the more-or-less generally accepted social conventions for funerals. I totally get that they're being nice when they want to hug and talk at length, etc., etc.

I just can't handle that shit very well. And I'm finding that, now that he's sober and doesn't have controlled substances as a crutch, my brother handles it even worse than I do. I'm not used to being the (comparatively) functional one.

I know that people want to pay their respects and they're doing it out of kindness.

Oh, for sure. But it still means (at least for me) a lot of having to be "on". You can't say to your grandmother's friend "Yes, it really sucks and I don't want to deal with it right now, but I have to at least make an effort because that's what society expects, and I know you're grieving too, but that doesn't necessarily mean I want to hug you and share our grief because I don't really know you."

It's completely acceptable for those in mourning to tag a loved one to run emotional interference for them, or even for said loved one to discreetly take on that task unasked because, well, love.

I imagine that my mother will not want to have a funeral or calling hours or anything like that. My grandmother and grandfather did not either. So I have never actually been the bereaved, only the caller-- but usually only for people so close I can actually support them or extroverted enough that I know they really want people there!

It's completely acceptable for those in mourning to tag a loved one to run emotional interference for them

I did actually tell Tim that my brother and I would make Tim and my brother's wife take care of all the social wrangling for us. (We both married extroverts, which comes in handy from time to time.)

Oooh, what are they for? Is it pie?

Nothing so delicious, I'm afraid. They're for lots of tiny lightboxes of a sort.

I'm sorry, but anyone who wants to talk at length to the immediate bereaved at a wake/funeral/etc. is not meeting their social obligations. You briefly say something to the main people and then find someone else to talk to! IMO.

Oh, Drew, that sucks. You don't need that on top of everything else.

Thanks for the compliments, everyone! This is why I have you people. I think I'm content with both brows & hair now. The hair is the same cut I've been getting since, what, 2011? when Hecubus recommended it, but I've been refining as I go, and I think this is the best version I've had. I'm not sure about leaving the extra length on the long side, but we'll roll with it for this time.

Go Zen, with your badass debt-paying self!

Oh, and in today's random news, I just drank green tea out of a Keurig, even though I have my grandmother's ancient teapot and an excellent supply of high quality loose leaf tea just right there. I'm pretty sure my forbears have just disowned me from the grave. But it took, like, thirty seconds.