I know that people want to pay their respects and they're doing it out of kindness.

Oh, for sure. But it still means (at least for me) a lot of having to be "on". You can't say to your grandmother's friend "Yes, it really sucks and I don't want to deal with it right now, but I have to at least make an effort because that's what society expects, and I know you're grieving too, but that doesn't necessarily mean I want to hug you and share our grief because I don't really know you."

It's completely acceptable for those in mourning to tag a loved one to run emotional interference for them, or even for said loved one to discreetly take on that task unasked because, well, love.

I imagine that my mother will not want to have a funeral or calling hours or anything like that. My grandmother and grandfather did not either. So I have never actually been the bereaved, only the caller-- but usually only for people so close I can actually support them or extroverted enough that I know they really want people there!

It's completely acceptable for those in mourning to tag a loved one to run emotional interference for them

I did actually tell Tim that my brother and I would make Tim and my brother's wife take care of all the social wrangling for us. (We both married extroverts, which comes in handy from time to time.)

Oooh, what are they for? Is it pie?

Nothing so delicious, I'm afraid. They're for lots of tiny lightboxes of a sort.

I'm sorry, but anyone who wants to talk at length to the immediate bereaved at a wake/funeral/etc. is not meeting their social obligations. You briefly say something to the main people and then find someone else to talk to! IMO.

Oh, Drew, that sucks. You don't need that on top of everything else.

Thanks for the compliments, everyone! This is why I have you people. I think I'm content with both brows & hair now. The hair is the same cut I've been getting since, what, 2011? when Hecubus recommended it, but I've been refining as I go, and I think this is the best version I've had. I'm not sure about leaving the extra length on the long side, but we'll roll with it for this time.

Go Zen, with your badass debt-paying self!

Oh, and in today's random news, I just drank green tea out of a Keurig, even though I have my grandmother's ancient teapot and an excellent supply of high quality loose leaf tea just right there. I'm pretty sure my forbears have just disowned me from the grave. But it took, like, thirty seconds.

I'm sorry, but anyone who wants to talk at length to the immediate bereaved at a wake/funeral/etc. is not meeting their social obligations.

Jeez, last night, every time we tried to talk to Tim's aunt or any of his cousins, someone stepped in front of us and then had lengthy conversations. And Tim refused to step closer so that we could indicate we were next (there wasn't a receiving line or anything; it was just a freeform visitation), so as soon as one person would walk away, another one would swoop in. I finally stalked off to the bathroom because I didn't want to snap at Tim for being so reticent.

At my dad's funeral Xanax was the only thing that got me through. Everyone was perfectly nice and polite. There was just a lot of people, many of them huggy.