I did much the same thing my first year at university at 17.

I was about to ask if anyone else read it!

I did much the same thing my first year at university at 17.

Me too! My mom was diagnosed with cancer two weeks after I got to college my freshman year, and I just...shut down. I stopped going to class, didn't go to any of my finals, and failed out (or at least was on academic probation, with a 0.0 GPA), and I didn't tell my parents, because they had other things to worry about. Then I dropped out for the spring semester to help my dad take care of my mom, and after she died I went back to school for what would have been the fall semester of my sophomore year, and I did the same thing all over again, and failed out for real. And I didn't tell anyone. My dad was busy passively committing suicide because he was so depressed about my mom, my brothers barely knew me (and didn't want to know me) and I lied to all my friends and pretended to be in school. For years. While I worked three jobs. It went on so long, that I thought I could never tell my friends because they would "hate" me for lying for so long, and my father died without ever knowing. I went years thinking I couldn't get back into school. It wasn't until I met Terry and mustered up the courage to tell him, that things finally changed. He was really supportive, and we had each of our friends over one by one so that I could "confess" that I'd been lying to them for years, and then he went with me to the undergraduate admissions office, and I applied for readmission and got back into school, and finally, years later, got my degree, but I carried so much shame around for screwing up and hiding it and lying about it for so long that sometimes it's hard to believe. There are only a handful of Buffistas whom I've ever talked with about this, and it's been so many years now I can't even remember if I ever posted about it here, but I'm fairly certain I didn't, because it's only with the distance of middle age that I've really, truly forgiven myself for the whole mess and started to look at it as an accomplishment that i got through it all, and not that my entire adult life is a hopeless failure that I have to fake. So!

Which is a long winded way of saying yeah, me too. Preferred reading of previous paragraph: quickly! Moving on. I felt the need to type it, but already regretting it.

Oh Amyth! You poor thing, I just want to give you a big hug. And I feel so bad for Kat, but there's just not many options for her, sadly

The "feel a little pressure" thing led me to try to be stoic with my root canal,

I think that doctors/dentists mean "please tell me if you are feeling actual pain" when they say that you'll "feel a little pressure."

amyth, that's really brave. I know a number of people, smart & competent people, who had all kinds of struggles getting through college for a variety of reasons. I think that the smooth sailing, uninterrupted, 4-year undergrad experience is less common than we'd think.

I know a number of people, smart & competent people, who had all kinds of struggles getting through college for a variety of reasons. I think that the smooth sailing, uninterrupted, 4-year undergrad experience is less common than we'd think.

Exactly. Knowing people that come out the other side so successfully is what helps me hold on when looking at my own 20somethings. You have so many reasons to be proud, amyth.

I'm glad you told us, myth. I definitely didn't know all that and I am even more proud to know you knowing that you have come through all that and eventually told your friends and got your degree. Way to handle your shit! Sometimes it takes a while, that was a lot to handle after all.

TB, I meant to say, it is no fun when the blood you are cleaning up is your own. I hope you get some relief from whatever is causing you trouble.

I am off work - Christmas Eve is a regular holiday at my company (as is Good Friday which I feel is stranger [except for last year when it was finally decided that working Mon-Tues, having Wed-Thurs off and coming back in on Friday was just silly {Christmas Eve, not Good Friday}]) and I am certainly glad to have the 4-day weekend. I've almost finished clearing out the section of kitchen cupboard that includes where the mice were coming through the ceiling (I told some people at work about it and someone said "they wet all Mission Impossible on you!" which I kind of love). I was hoping to get the whole kitchen done today, but at this rate maybe not...OTOH, maybe I will get faster as I go? It's possible.

Anyway, break's over, better get back to it.

Typo, I really wish that 2016 will be much kinder to you.

Knowing people that come out the other side so successfully is what helps me hold on when looking at my own 20somethings

For real. One of the smartest, funniest, best writers I know is, at 40, starting undergrad classes this winter.

Wow, amyth, sorry college was such a difficult experience for you.

I suffered from depression for the first time when I was in college. I was obsessed with wanting a relationship, which never happened. I also made almost no friends and was very lonely.

Long story short, I finally started partying during what was supposed to be my final semester, and flunked a class. As a result, my job offer for an actuarial position was withdrawn, and I ended up floundering around for nine years while working a series of low-paying jobs. I couldn't pay my student loans so the interest eventually doubled what I owed.

I finally payed off my loans about four years ago.