Knowing people that come out the other side so successfully is what helps me hold on when looking at my own 20somethings

For real. One of the smartest, funniest, best writers I know is, at 40, starting undergrad classes this winter.

Wow, amyth, sorry college was such a difficult experience for you.

I suffered from depression for the first time when I was in college. I was obsessed with wanting a relationship, which never happened. I also made almost no friends and was very lonely.

Long story short, I finally started partying during what was supposed to be my final semester, and flunked a class. As a result, my job offer for an actuarial position was withdrawn, and I ended up floundering around for nine years while working a series of low-paying jobs. I couldn't pay my student loans so the interest eventually doubled what I owed.

I finally payed off my loans about four years ago.

I LDB'D myself making a Playlist on spotify and there was Jim Hendrix's medley of Little Drummer Boy, Silent Night, and Auld Lang Sane and I had to check it out. I could have waited a few days but I might as well enD this in style.

That's a huge accomplishment, amyth.

Loves all the love to amyth. Brave and strong and resilient.

It really is.

So far today, I have had two things to do, work wise, and I am beginning to wonder if someone hacked the federal government, because neither the 9th Circuit or Public PAIR are working.

People keep texting and emailing me work stuff and I just want to tell them all to go home.

And the Victorian era "Sherlock" that PBS has been teasing me with for weeks will air on Jan. 1.

Wow, amyth, sorry college was such a difficult experience for you.

So much this.

I got rusticated after my first year (which my overly well read self found secretly charming), took a year off and got a volunteer gig working with refugees for a year. Which changed my life, but not in ways that prevented me from going back and failing out all over again. Went back to Milwaukee and eventually took a few non-credit classes at UWM and Marquette, earned probationary status at Marquette, and eventually was able to transfer to McGill. In my case it was mostly down to immaturity and depression/anxiety.

I got my shit together eventually, but the d/a induced behaviors are still things I struggle with all the time

So much love to you, amyth. I knew some of that story but not, I think, all of it. I'm so sorry that you got dealt such a shitty hand at that point in your life. Making it through all that is a huge accomplishment in itself!

I also didn't quite take the traditional four-year path - had a rough sophomore year and ended up taking a year off to travel and work and live on my own for a while. It was exactly what I needed, and I wasn't even dealing with anything traumatic happening in my life.