I am at work. A library patron just asked me how to spell "turd."

It's practically like being at home, except I am pretty sure my son knows how to spell turd.

Oh god, I'm such a bad pet owner. Slinky (the ancient, kidney-disease kitty) sneezed so hard she launched herself out of her bed, and because the bed sits on the back of an overstuffed chair, she kind of slid between the chair and the window, but then scrambled back up.

I pushed the chair up against the wall so she wouldn't slide down again, and then I petted her, and she meowed a really loud angry meow at me and tried to bite my hand. And I thought, "Oh my god, is she becoming dangerous? What the hell?" And I tried to pet her again and she did the same FUCK OFF meow at me.

So I went to get her more food (she's old and too thin and I work from home, so she gets lunch), and I showed her the can, and she acted like she was going to hop off the chair and follow me but then didn't hop down. I thought maybe her little joints were stiff, so I went to pick her up...and realized the end of her tail was trapped between the chair and wall from when I pushed the chair back.

OF COURSE she was meowing at me -- I smooshed her tail! I am THE WORST.

I recently shut Bubba in a drawer.

I need a judges' ruling on the LDB game.

Saturday in Barnes and Noble I heard a jazz song that had no lyrics except for an occasional Rup-a-pum pum. I listened closely and I could not identify any melody or chord progression from the LDB.

My contention is this was an unrelated song that just happened to have a few Rup-a-pum pums in it.

Judges, do you agree?

Hmm. What other Christmas song has rum-pa-pum-pum? I know pat-a-pat-a-pan and fa-la-la-la-la...

Oh Brenda, how awful. Thankful that they are okay, but much to deal with there.

Well done, Kat!! Much better adulting (no computer, not adulating) than me. The only real accomplishment today was telling my office to screw off and leave me alone with the bullshit calls. I'm dealing with house stuff today instead of work stuff.

I stepped on one of my cats in the dark this morning, but they seem to have forgiven and forgotten.

I correctly guessed that manning the office alone today would probably be deadly quiet and dull (the other possibility, franticly putting out emergency fires, has so far failed to materialize), so bringing gift packages and wrapping paper turned out to be a good plan. Now I only have to buy one more gift card and put it in an envelope and I am done with Christmas shopping this year.

I've been working all day. But I did get a nice gift basket from a client.

Hmm. What other Christmas song has rum-pa-pum-pum?

Yeah, I think you're out. That may have been a stealth jazz version of LBD, but that's just how insidious it is.

Yeah, I think you're out. That may have been a stealth jazz version of LBD, but that's just how insidious it is.

Boo! I mean, I will accept the judges' ruling in the spirit of good sportsmanship.