If anyone wants to send calming and good vibes right now, I'm waiting for someone to call for a phone interview...

Connie,

I always want to ask those "pornography is horrible and demeans women!" people if man on man porn is similarly demeaning to women. I seem to get yelled at whenever I try it.

As someone who is in this camp, I think the industry is demeaning to all involved - men and women.

Calm~ma and interview~ma to you, meara.

Allyson, you can do it! You too, meara. Deep breaths all around.

I think the pornography as adultery is a pretty straight line from "thou shalt not covet," although not a line I'd draw myself. Remember Jimmy Carter and the "adultery in my heart thing."

I think the industry is demeaning to all involved - men and women.

All porn, every single instance? Even the people that say they're not demeaned? Why?

OMG, I am in such trouble. Like, you're supposed to be as compliant as possible (totally, bon, we're totally compliant), but no one wants to be the party pooper that prolongs the project with resurrecting the issue that just would not die...

I know a smart early 20s woman (I am being all "make her unidentifiable on the internet" but if you know me, you likely know who she is) who does actually feel that pornography is cheating and thus adultery in marriage. I don't agree with her theologically, but I can see how she rationally and calmly came to her decision. And since she's upfront about it with men she dates, fair enough.

What are her views on masturbation?

I wish the industry wasn't rife with abuses. It is. And it's a dangerous business or young people to get into. I would like to think that every porn worker is properly paid, not demeaned, abused or hooked on drugs. I'm not saying every single person in the industry is a victim, but there are only a few people making huge amounts of money off it and most of them are NOT women.

What are her views on masturbation?

From what I gathered, that it was not a horrible thing as a solitary activity. I will admit I was so thrown by "porn is cheating" that I might have just blinked for a while. Because while I think some people have relationships (for lack of a better word) with porn that aren't healthy for real-world partnerships, I don't see it is cheating.

And since she's upfront about it with men she dates, fair enough.

On the one hand, I figure if you're upfront about it, great. There's someone for everyone. But I would worry for her.

phew!! Phone interview went fairly well, I think. I hope. Would still need actual interview to decide if I would want this job, see the coworkers, find out more about the company, etc. I think mostly the issue would be they advertised for two different titles--and i want the higher one and I think they'd offer the lower one! (Other good thing--she didn't ask about salary)

I enjoy my porn more in written form (be that fanfic or erotica or trashy romances), but there are a couple of queer/female companies I respect (and that a few friends have even worked for). But I think doing it part-time or on a lark is hard for your future career, and doing it full-time seems like a difficult road as well.

Tonight is not going to be a good night. Mister Kitty is working on dying sooner rather than later again, and it might be time to help him along with that. He's all bones. But he's fooled me before, so who the hell knows. Vet tomorrow, worst-case-scenario mindset tonight.

sara, I am so sorry. Much love to you and Mister Kitty both.