However, I think no sex until marriage is okay as long as it's really only your penis or vagina it's important about. Porn as adultery is usually about someone else's "sex" life. But, if it's about your relationship, and it's a shared understanding, it's all good. It's when it's leveraged against an unwilling external party that I get pissy.

I hadn't thought of it from exactly that perspective. I think the porn issue is, if we're honest, about the masturbation assumed to follow or accompany the porn. Or the intentional viewing of a nekkid person one isn't supposed to be wanting to look at. It's not that porn exists, it is the utilization. Orgasms all unsanctioned by the relationship or church or whatever.

I always want to ask those "pornography is horrible and demeans women!" people if man on man porn is similarly demeaning to women. I seem to get yelled at whenever I try it.

Baby ponies--so cute!

I'm home an hour early, but couldn't unload on my mom since she was at her home, decompressing after a busy day with a friend and a glass of wine.

I need wine.

So, to relax, I instead pulled out my camera and took pics of all my Christmas decor I arranged on Friday, and my cat who is currently curled up under the tree on the tree skirt that she apparently believes I bought specifically for her. It's the first time this tree has had a skirt since I got it, and she's loving the brocade. I just hope she doesn't discover the tassels, at least not as potential chew toys.

Masturbation as infidelity? Seriously? I feel all naive, asking that question. I didn't know what was anywhere near a held opinion, but significant numbers. Not like porn as infidelity.

I just copped to something in our project to the risk management people that might put the project under a spotlight. Oh, man, that was...not my place.

Well, the teefury page never loaded and I had to use the task manager to close IE, and then Outlook stopped working...

Huh. Double huh.

I corrected it to ado in track changes and sent it back to the writer. If she wants to change it back I will not know and therefore won't have to cringe.

I'm writing. I took the afternoon off to deal with this shit. This shit will be done.

No it won't.

It will never be done. And I am going to fail. My anxiety levels are through the roof. Calm vibes. Calm writing vibes. And a beta reader who has a soothing voice. Cerulean blue is a gentle breeze.

I always want to ask those "pornography is horrible and demeans women!" people if man on man porn is similarly demeaning to women. I seem to get yelled at whenever I try it.

Well, the ones I know are pretty much just against the extracurricular sex, so I have no idea.

Masturbation as infidelity? Seriously? I feel all naive, asking that question.

From what I have gathered - and I am not claiming I asked a metric ton of insightful questions, just an hour of conversation - it isn't the masturbation that was the issue. It was having it be rather interactive with the porn or the idea of the people in the porn. It wasn't random wank, it was the imagined scenario that caused consternation.

To me, I'd be more worried about a relationship if the other person was actively and rampantly fantasizing about someone else specific. But that's me.

It will never be done. And I am going to fail. My anxiety levels are through the roof. Calm vibes.

It will be done. You will succeed. I hope your anxiety levels go down...

If anyone wants to send calming and good vibes right now, I'm waiting for someone to call for a phone interview...

Connie,

I always want to ask those "pornography is horrible and demeans women!" people if man on man porn is similarly demeaning to women. I seem to get yelled at whenever I try it.

As someone who is in this camp, I think the industry is demeaning to all involved - men and women.

Calm~ma and interview~ma to you, meara.