A not-that-close friend(s) doing it? Um. Bitch, I will CUT you.
Actually, you saying that made me stop and think, and there *are* some friends (well, a scant few) I wouldn't have a problem with doing that. These women weren't really what I would call "close" friends. It's not that I don't like them, but...boundaries, people!
Then there was a whole thing with a pool party at the house of some friends -- their yard has a lot of privacy, and so after dark they were all "Skinny-dipping! Yay!" Which is fine, I'm not going to do it in mixed company EVER, but if other people want to, that's cool.
So people were swimming, and eventually it was only Tim left in the pool (in swim trunks), when suddenly a woman (who I am admittedly not fond of) said -- TO ME -- "Oh, Tim's in the pool! I'm getting in!", stripped off her suit, and jumped in the pool and swam over to him, all naked and so forth.
One of our friends told me later he couldn't believe I reacted without swearing or losing my shit. I just walked over to the pool and gave Tim the silent stinkeye, and he asked, "Is it time for me to get out?"
He did ask me later why I did that, and I told him what the woman had said, and that I found it really aggressive and predatory, and it made me really uncomfortable. He asked me if I thought he wouldn't be able to deflect if she got all weird, and I said, "I wasn't thinking about YOU; I was thinking about HER."
Damn, I want bacon now. I'm such an easy mark.
Did I link to [link] yet? (conceptually NSFW, but words and pictures are fine)
I once had a woman say "I'm attracted to D. Tell D I'm attracted to him." while I was dating D. Because I am who I am (but I'm not sure she was bright enough to get that), I told him she wanted in his pants. He looked quizzically at me. I said "It's a piece of information about you, for you. So I told you. Do with it what you want." That was the last I thought about it. I didn't do anything to try and limit their time together or anything.
The dude clarified that when he typed attraction, he didn't mean, "I think she's hot" or "I think she's hot and would like to bed her down" but deep romantic attraction, and that it was because of the painfulness of being attracted (in those terms) to someone who isn't attracted to you.
But I think that's pretty reasonable self-preservation, no matter which gender/orientation you are.
The dude clarified that when he typed attraction, he didn't mean, "I think she's hot" or "I think she's hot and would like to bed her down" but deep romantic attraction, and that it was because of the painfulness of being attracted (in those terms) to someone who isn't attracted to you.
That makes sense in that light.
Yeah, I was glad for the discussion because the dude who was making the argument...it seemed very out-of-sorts for that particular commenter. It just took post after post after post of misunderstanding to get there.
the dude who was making the argument...it seemed very out-of-sorts for that particular commenter.
In that case, I apologize for calling him a douchebag and retract my earlier comment.
(I still don't think it's a good idea for anyone to be making statements that begin "all men..." or "all women..." but that's a separate pet peeve.)
On its face, it was a douchey comment. And I've been edgy since "there are no women rock musicians...if I redefine musician to only mean people with penises."
OK that makes much more sense.
But yeah, what Jess said.
Steph, I think all of those women are out of line! But since I'm a non-touchy person, I take touching seriously.
My mother and I still scream about a family friend touching my father's face in the middle of a conversation, years ago.
