I think it's important that we, as a society working towards equal treatment of the sexes, not let feminism turn into a knee-jerk demonization of anything feminine.

Oh, absolutely. Took me a long time to learn that, when I was younger: that the way to be a feminist was not to denigrate things which were associated with femininity.

But it is a complicated problem, because we so end up with these little boxes instead: feminine (pink, dresses, glitter, ponies) here, and masculine (blue, overalls, dinosaurs, trucks) there, and hardly anyone is allowed to pick from both boxes at once. And you're right--definitely not boys.

But that brings me back around to the source of it all, which is that things which are associated with femininity are inherently less valuable than things which are associated with masculinity. Girls can "level up" by going masculine (to a point), but boys are not allowed to go feminine, because that's a step "down". The subtext is that pink and glitter contaminate anything they touch with their dangerous femininity. And that's okay for girls, because they're already feminine, but not for boys.

Grr, argh.

Hey Tom, that article you posted last night actually was helpful [for the cure]. I'm not sure exactly where things stand today - at a minimum we will be in "Performance Improvement Plan" territory, but, depending on my conversation with HR, it may be past that point now.

So unfun. K is really, really good at her job. She's my right hand in a lot of ways. She also has a manner that tends to get people's backs up, micromanages to the nth degree, and involves herself in all kinds of stuff that is not her concern. Ghastly as a people manager, in two different roles. Except for how she wasn't - after a year reporting to her, each and every one of them was a)nine times better at their job and poised to be star players and b)angry, hostile and in near revolt.

after a year reporting to her, each and every one of them was a)nine times better at their job and poised to be star players and b)angry, hostile and in near revolt

Oh, dear. That's tricky. How do you save that skill and ditch the problems?

Hey Tom, that article you posted last night actually was helpful [for the cure].

Cool! [for the cure]

I hope things turn out the best they can....

In re pink - years ago I worked for an association for engineers and did their graphic design. On one piece, someone who'd taken a marketing seminar declared that red was the best color and, somehow, morphed that into pink.

The engineers hated it. Hated it so much that we got nasty comments about it for something like three years. So we never used anything approaching pink after that.

How do you save that skill and ditch the problems?

It's hard to get people to let go of the micromanaging. That's like trying to teach a dog to lay off the chicken bones. They're always gonna wanna.

Honestly, though, girls dressed as pirates have much greater societal acceptance than boys dressed as princesses.

That's definitely true, although I'm surprised at how much crap Shiloh Jolie-Pitt gets.

Except for how she wasn't - after a year reporting to her, each and every one of them was a)nine times better at their job and poised to be star players and b)angry, hostile and in near revolt.

Ooh, that makes it hard. OTOH, it means you could probably be a conditional reference for her (I mean, if you are able to stay at all friendly, and she's able to hear that you could recommend SOME parts of her work if not all, maybe depending on what she's applying for?)

hardly anyone is allowed to pick from both boxes at once

I think that's overstated. I know a lot people that do, and have done so for quite a while. I think people might be more hesitant about doing it, but the judgment you get isn't really that bad. I can wear a tie and cufflinks to work, in addition to my shorn hair and steel toed Mary Janes and get nothing more than a raised eyebrow. No negative impact to my professional or social standing.

No negative impact to my professional or social standing.

But can a guy in your office (or in a more structured corporate environment) wear a pink shirt and some lip gloss and earrings with his suit?