How do you save that skill and ditch the problems?

It's hard to get people to let go of the micromanaging. That's like trying to teach a dog to lay off the chicken bones. They're always gonna wanna.

Honestly, though, girls dressed as pirates have much greater societal acceptance than boys dressed as princesses.

That's definitely true, although I'm surprised at how much crap Shiloh Jolie-Pitt gets.

Except for how she wasn't - after a year reporting to her, each and every one of them was a)nine times better at their job and poised to be star players and b)angry, hostile and in near revolt.

Ooh, that makes it hard. OTOH, it means you could probably be a conditional reference for her (I mean, if you are able to stay at all friendly, and she's able to hear that you could recommend SOME parts of her work if not all, maybe depending on what she's applying for?)

hardly anyone is allowed to pick from both boxes at once

I think that's overstated. I know a lot people that do, and have done so for quite a while. I think people might be more hesitant about doing it, but the judgment you get isn't really that bad. I can wear a tie and cufflinks to work, in addition to my shorn hair and steel toed Mary Janes and get nothing more than a raised eyebrow. No negative impact to my professional or social standing.

No negative impact to my professional or social standing.

But can a guy in your office (or in a more structured corporate environment) wear a pink shirt and some lip gloss and earrings with his suit?

each and every one of them was a)nine times better at their job and poised to be star players and b)angry, hostile and in near revolt.

Ugh, Brenda. I hope things end up better than you anticipate. Our very best and brilliant employee is completely insane and has unbelievable quantities of major family drama all the time. I've mentioned her devotion to every and all conspiracy theories. She makes me crazy and we live in fear of customers detecting how insane she really is, but she is so damn smart and works nights and weekends not resting until she figures out complicated problems. It's tough.

I think that's overstated

Yeah, it is definitely easier for women. And it's easier in some places: I wouldn't get comments on the street if I dressed in male drag, but I might get them in the office, since my place of employment is fairly conservative.

But there's plenty of places in this country where it would be pretty tough to be even a little androgynous.

Case in point: [link] Michelle Bachmann's Congressional district, where teen suicides are through the roof because the schools refuse to even have a policy defending LGBT kids from bullying. Note: that's a horrifying article--don't read it if you're depressed.

No negative impact to my professional or social standing.

Yeah--because other days you wear a skirt and corset. Most of my friends who wear a tie and cufflinks every day, but aren't male (or haven't transitioned enough to pass as male) DO get shit for it. Not always obvious, and not always out loud (though sometimes it is!), but there's definitely shit.

That's like trying to teach a dog to lay off the chicken bones. They're always gonna wanna.

This, exactly. I spend a lot of time working on keeping her focused. And it's worth it for me to do that, so far. But if I take my eye off the ball things start cropping up and I can't have this kind of turmoil going on around us.

I don't know if it has been posted, but Komen has reinstated its grant to PP and apologized.

I will say this about the Pink Ribbon stuff: Like msbelle, I love me a pink kitchen. Before Kristen moved in, my kitchen was pink and I was saving for a custom-made pink diner booth. Kristen's not such a big fan, so now the kitchen is red.

The Komen pink stuff made it way easier to accessorize, at least?

I'm a big fan of sparkly pink girly stuff. I love pink. And like Jesse, I'm often disturbed by the crap that the Jolie-Pitt kid gets about the drag. That kid is freakin' adorable in her short haircut and sweater vests. I'm sort of glad that they're so whatever about it, it's kind of inspiring in that it's a good example.